The death of you,
It lies within you.
Take care not to fear,
Take it for granted,
You 'll not survive this.
For this is nothing,
It was never anything.
Death has always been one of those infinitely fascinating topics. What lies beyond this life, its as philosophical a question you can hope to encounter. Its probably more revolting and disturbing than the eternal question of the existence of God.
The question can be answered by religion to a big extent, provided you believe in it. Afterlife/heaven/hell and the likes are all very interesting to hear about. Someone following a religion inevitably has a heaven of angels and hell filled with demons. But what about someone like me?? What about an atheist who believe that religions are nothing but fancy theories with no base for corroboration. What do I expect when I hit upon the ultimate roadblock, that is death??
Well, it is indeed scary. It would be nice to imagine a situation where I die and I get everything I had always wished for. That would be really nice and convenient. But my belief doesnt let it be that simple. IF there is an after life where I can live on, that would be great. I would have no complaints about that. But during my time on earth as a human being, I choose to believe that what we have now is all that we have. All that we have is the moment that we live in. Nothing can be taken as is, for it all can go horribly wrong just as quickly as you can blink your eyes.
It is most important to live in the moment. And that becomes painfully obvious when you experience death somewhere close to you. Seeing the numbers in the news papers hardly affects us. We are oblivious to that. We have been desensitized by the onslaught of violent media. Its not really a bad thing. But then, it makes us forget how much each moment must be cherished.
Recently, a friend of mine lost a close friend in an accident. As I saw the person struggling to come to terms with the shocking truth, I had an epiphany. I have never been in such a situation of looking upon an irrecoverable loss. How does one deal with such a situation?? I cant even begin to imagine how I would react. Heck, I cant even react well enough to comfort my friend. I am far too logical and my thought process is like that of an insensitive idiot. Although, I do try and make up. I dont know how good a job, am doing at it.
"Shit happens. One has to move on!!"
Thats what rings in my mind. I wonder, just how hypocritical that is of me. I have had a small experience when I got to know how badly I deal with losses. Well, of course that applies to only a very limited no. of people as there are not many who have penetrated my shield of insensitivity.
Everybody has their ways of dealing with the shit life throws at you. I have recognized two ways I prefer.
Cribbing away to close friends.
Music, death metal to be precise.
The first one is probably accepted as the most common solution. But it is in someways the most difficult thing to do. Especially if someone whom you can talk to is not at reach when you need them. Thats when music comes to my aid. Metal has an incredible tranquilizing effect on me. Children of Bodom and Lamb of God are right at the top of my go-to-list. Their songs are not exactly feel-good songs. But they have an awesome effect. I have had many a nights where metal songs have donned the role of lullabies.
I am afraid of growing old. For I know that it leads me to closer to that inevitable end. i am afraid of dying. But my arrogance doesnt let me worry much, yet. I am pretty sure am gonna be around to torture y'all for a long time to come. [:P] But sometimes, my mind does drift off to a future that I want to be mine. And sometimes, I see myself as old and vile, and I dont like it. Well, thats a topic for another post.
At the end of the day, all we have are our friends, family and yourself. I am not trying to say that nothing matters. But all am trying to put accross is that some things matter more than anything else. And its imperative that we know what these things are and take care of them. Make sure that nothing goes unsaid and people that matter should know that they are important. Life is worth opening yourself up and making yourself vulnerable. Only with the threat of deadly pain do we have the promise of intimate satisfaction for the self. Life would be nothing if we dint have the dead end hovering above is. It is precisely why one learns to appreciate the beauty of life. And its precisely why each moment is to be lived to the fullest and treasured.
Until next time. Adios, amigos!!
PS - Thanks to the artists for their artistic interpretations and Google for letting me stumble upon them.
