Jargons of a Shredded Life

Physics in Delhi University

2012-01-19T14:36:00.001+05:30

So a few days back, friend of mine came up to me with a request. He wanted me to write about the Physics course in DU highlighting the importance of faculty, college and touching upon career options. All with the clarity that a (confused) prospective student would be looking for. So here's what I coughed up for the DU Calling You initiative. They are an enterprising group of youngsters who have decided to bring out a website that aims for one simple thing. To give clarity regarding the courses in DU for prospective students, especially those who might be finding themselves at crossroads. Good luck to them. :)

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“Naturalscience does not simply describe and explain nature; it is part of theinterplay between nature and ourselves.” – Werner Heisenberg

Heisenberg, the enigmatic physicist puts things into perspectivefor us with that quote. Physics is the answer to mankind’s yearning forunderstanding nature. It’s the most fundamental of the sciences. ThroughPhysics, we try to explain how this magnificent entity – the nature - thatencapsulates all that we see, feel and know.

If you find yourself excited by the mysteries surrounding theworking of nature, if it tickles your curiosity, then Physics is the subjectfor you. So if you feel that strongconviction for learning Physics, then look no further – DU is the place foryou. And even if you are someone who isnot sure of what to do after +2 and finds yourself liking physics, I recommendthat you give it a shot. Because, physics is one course after which you canbranch out into any other field without much difficulty. It gives you a basefor a lot of fields by teaching you how to think objectively and analysescientifically. It is something that does not limit your scopes by any means.

Choosing the right college is of great importance. For example, ifyou are in a college like Stephen’s, your academic life would be considerablydifferent and far more enriched compared to most of the other colleges in DU. It’snot just the course that matters for you, the faculty, the peers and thegeneral atmosphere are also vital factors in giving you the right kind ofeducation. Life in DU is not just about scoring in the exams. Care has to be given to ensure that more importancehas to be given to understanding the concepts thoroughly and also for engaging invarious activities outside of academics. The better colleges do provide avenues for this.

Now to give you an idea about what you should be pre-equippedwith. A good base in mathematics is a must-have. To be more specific, an astute knowledge ofcalculus and algebra is recommended. And as mentioned before, you must have aninclination towards the subject. Youdon’t necessarily have to have excelled in it. Being interested and motivated isthe key. And as far as admissions are concerned, good performance in the boardsare mandatory for top colleges since the cut-offs are generally in the higher sideof 90s.

Now comes the important question of what comes after you gain yourdegree. With a BSc. (H) Physics degree, there are only a few things that youwon’t be able to do. We can broadly classify people into two categories here –the group who wants to pursue Physics further and the group which is lookingfor alternative avenues.

For those who want to continue with Physics, the next logical stepis to do an MSc or an integrated PhD course. A good number of students goabroad, mainly to European universities (UK, Germany, France). Cambridge andOxford are for obvious reasons at the top of that list. More often than not, thetougher ask is to procure the financial assistance rather than admission intothe university itself. Other institutes of repute are Gottingen, EcolePolytechnique, King’s College London etc.

There are really good options available within India itself. TIFRand IISc are the world class research institutes in the country and they offerPhD courses in Physics. And then are the other major research institutes suchas IMSc, HRI, RRI etc. MSc courses are offered in several of the IITs and thatis also an extremely good option. And then of course, there is always theoption of DU and JNU. All these should ideally culminate in a PhD.

Career-wise a person pursuing Physics (after his PhD) can end upas a research scholar in one of these institutes. And the other choice is tobecome a teacher. Both can be extremely satisfying in different ways. Researchis one of the most intellectually stimulating activity one can take indulge in.And to know what teaching can give you, all you must do is to google ‘joy ofteaching’.

Okay, jokes aside, many of you must be wondering about the moneymatters. The payscale for college professors fixed by the UGC is by no meanssmall (60k+ per month). For a research scholar too, the money is not too meagre(40k+ more per month). As someone very wise once told me, if you are good atwhat you do, you don’t have to worry about money. But yes, these amounts mightnot be as high as someone in the corporate sector.

Now for those of you who decide that Physics is after all, notyour cup of tea, the options are innumerable. Being in a top college likeStephen’s would give you the easiest choice – campus placements. Physicsgraduates are rated high and they compete with Economics, Commerce andMathematics students. They are placed in top financial consulting companies,investment banks and the likes.

Another popular option is to go for an MBA from a top managementinstitute. There are also those who diverge into different subjects such aseconomics, chemistry, mathematics, law, history, journalism etc. For example,there’s Law Faculty for studying law, Delhi School of Economics for Economicsand Sociology etc. Your exposure in DU will allow you to be well prepared forthe entrances for all these. You can find out more about these options alongthe way of finishing your degree. In short, having attained a physics degree maynot let you become an engineer or a doctor, but just about everything else isthere for the taking. At the risk of sounding terribly clichéd, I leave youwith the question - so what are you waiting for?

Its a good life.

2011-10-17T00:58:00.000+05:30

Life has been awfully nice of late. Or maybe not. But yes, peaceful it has been in general. Even with all the work that needs be done. All the pressures and tensions of what comes next - tests, projects, entrances. Dealing with the general uncertainty of it all and keeping up with work, that is what is the essential survival act now.

But the journey has been sweetened by bonds forged near and far. Friendships have been rekindled, strengthened and new ones have been found. Its a brilliant passage of time. And am scared to think too much about it. Its an irrational fear and I worry even the act of writing about will erase it all. I have not felt so light at heart in a long time.

And winter's setting in. Oh yes, that wonderful spectacle is coming, finally. Thank you, mother nature. And it will in all probability be my last winter in Delhi. Here's to hoping for going out with a bang. Ciao!

Art of the violent persuasion

2011-09-22T00:41:00.002+05:30

I like weird art. And here, by art I mean paintings, drawings and other similar stuff. And I dont really know what I mean by weird. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So here you go.

This piece of art, which I happened to run into on the web, attracts me, fascinates me and does something to my head. I have always thought that I was unable to appreciate art. I mean, I am one of those who scoff at the mention of "modern art". Okay, lets not get defensive now.

I like violent art. Let me elaborate. I was in a restaurant with a friend a few days back. And there were these samurai-influenced manga art on the wall. There were swords swishing and blood gushing. And my friend mentioned to me how it was slightly disturbing to have such pictures around. And thats when it hit me, I was more than comfortable. They seemed surreal and beautiful. They were enchanting pieces of art to me.

I cannot explain this fascination. Is it induced by some dormant violent tendencies? "Will I to grow up to be a Ted Bundy?" :P Or maybe its the video games that I grew up playing that have made me so. "Mom, your fears have come true" :D Okay, on a serious note, I believe that a certain level of insensitivity to violence is good for someone to cope up living in this increasingly violent world.

I do not wince when I see a dog/cat/random animal squashed on the road. And its not because I dont feel any sympathy for the poor animal. Its just that I am sufficiently immune to the ordeal such that I can go on with my life without unnecessarily and uselessly being affected (even to the smallest degree).

But would I enjoy a photograph of a man being mortally injured? No, I wouldnt. That is my limit. I can appreciate it so long as it is only a depiction and not real life. The appreciation is thus curbed.

Ciao!

Nainital

2011-09-09T12:17:00.000+05:30

World running past me.

2011-08-29T23:56:00.000+05:30

World has been quite busy around me since my last post. Anna Hazare and the Jan Lokpal drama, India getting thrashed by England, college elections, department trip postponement and a lot of work.

Enough has been said and written about the Lokpal and Anna Hazare. Here are some really interesting articles that I found. Read through them and you ll get a really good grasp of what is really happening. The media tripping over themselves to sensationalise the issue is just deplorable. People really love the limelight, is all I have to say about the Lokpal and its supporters. You can wish for a magic wand that swipes away all the corruption in the land, but one can only hope to be diligent and sensible enough to see that there are no such miraculous cures. What we need are more practical measures that dont call for a classic "who'll watch the watchmen" scenario. More on what can be done instead of the much fancied Lokpal can be found in the links below.

http://unlimitedweirdity.blogspot.com/2011/08/thought-or-two-on-corruption.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYbhpbdkWhg&feature=player_embedded
http://www.dailypioneer.com/330414/Jan-Lok-Pal-is-no-solution.html

http://acorn.nationalinterest.in/2011/08/14/faq-why-is-anna-hazare-wrong-and-lok-pal-a-bad-idea/

http://pragati.nationalinterest.in/2011/05/jan-lok-pal-is-both-unconstitutional-and-unnecessary/

http://www.prajnya.in/lokpaldebatecompchart.htm

http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/lead/article2379704.ece

http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/voices/the-anna-hazare-show
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/18/world/asia/18iht-letter18.html
http://tehelka.com/story_main50.asp?filename=Ne130811COVERSTORY.asp

I think I have hit my saturation limit as far as lokpal is concerned. So many opinions, so many experts. Yeah, I have had enough.

The English drubbing of the Indian cricket team was nothing short of inducing despair. Enough has been written about what went wrong with the whole series. Nothing worked for India and whatever could go wrong went wrong. The British inflicted some of the heaviest defeats in recent memory to the whimpering Indian side. A lopsided and shabby batting debacle ensured that India had no chance even their bowlers gave them some sort of a headway. Rahul Dravid, was India's only bright spot in the batting department. He played his heart out in typical Dravid fashion oozing class and determination. If I dont mention Praveen Kumar and his tireless bowling, it would be a crime. But sadly, he couldnt carry the team completely on solely his shoulders.

The lone star.

Life in college has been fun, as always. The election for the post of Union president is to happen tomorrow. And I happened to watch ManU thrash a hapless Arsenal, 8-2. Many supporters were seen crying and Arsene Wenger was on the verge of tears. Seriously, what did that man expect after selling off the players who kept the club's campaign afloat last year and not buying proper replacements? I feel pity for him. More on all that later. Ciao, fellows!

Yeah.

2011-08-18T00:05:00.000+05:30

Ah, final year in college is enigmatic. Yes, thats how I would describe it in one word. There's the excitement of being one step closer to another milestone in life, at the same time there's always the realisation that some of the best days of your life are coming to an end and surely captivating is the mystery of what lies in store. It is a fantastic and fascinating phase of life. And I realise that its also very hard to get carried away by the giant wave of uncertainty and you could easily be lulled into a state of hibernation.

The year has begun on a good note. If you look beyond the intense course and preparations that one has to go through, its a sweet deal. Easier said than done, of course. But it all feels like a dejavu. Its like a throwback to the 12th standard. 2008 - that was some year! I hope this time around the end will be considerably less bitter. Sometimes I wonder how simpler life would be if you did not have extravagant expectations weighing you down. Maybe thats a lazy person's excuse. Be that as it may, its better to play and lose than not to play at all.

And, life is beautiful.

2011-07-27T03:31:00.003+05:30

I am back in Delhi. I have a new room, new classes, old friends and a wonderful life. I have gotten settled in and organized. Life is peaceful for the moment. Sure, a lot of craziness is headed my way. Maybe even a bit of panic, as and when the year draws closer to an end.

Future is a big misty question mark. I have my aspirations. I have my dreams. I have my hopes. What will eventually pan out is a question that I don't know the answer to. All I can do at this point in time is to work hard and hope for the best.

Ah, but tonight, am not worried. Tonight, life is wonderful. Ciao!

Accidents of the fourth kind.

2011-07-25T02:53:00.002+05:30

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental.

Once there was a family travelling in a car and I was watching the events around them unfold. Why this family? No no, its not what you think. Its not because I am omniscient or omnipotent or any mumbo-jumbo like that. I had an itch as I happened to pass their car by and I stopped.

The family comprised of a father, mother and their three sons. The parents were highly educated and it was obvious that it was a well-to-do family. The father was the one driving. Rather skirmishly too, for someone his age. He had an air of superiority that could be witnessed in the average Indian chauvinist male. And the rest of the family seemed to be acutely aware of it too for no one spoke like it was a normal family road trip. I looked at the mother. She was systematically oppressed by the husband and felt helpless like most average oppressed Indian wives. The sons seemed like they had had enough of the whole charade that they seemed to be immersed in. It probably felt like a bad joke in a masala TV serial.

The air was suffocating and any sense of joy was being sucked out. It was all very depressing. I was about to bid good riddance when it happened. The car sped up and veered to the right ever so slightly. BANG! The car had hit the small truck on the right lane.

In a moment, everyone in the car (including yours truly) understood what had happened. The father had lost his concentration momentarily which led to the mishap. Well, at least there was no harm done to any person. Relief? Not quite. But as it turned out, there was one person who wasn't quite so clear as to how the events had transpired - the father. His face turned red in rage and he pulled over to the left side of the road. He got out and angrily motioned to the truck driver to pull over.

The rest of the family got out too. Nervous looks were exchanged as their eyes fell on the big dent. They knew that this meant trouble. The car was a luxurious SUV and it was very new and barely had any scratch on it. Oh boy! I felt bad for them because I saw the fear in their minds. They were worried about how the father would handle the situation.

What ensued then was a heated verbal joust between the two drivers. And before you knew it, a cop was on the scene. The truck driver tried explaining calmly what had truly happened. He explained that it wasnt his fault, and that he was going smoothly in his chosen lane. But hey, the father was not about admit his fault. Shamelessly, he accused the socially outclassed truck driver of rash driving. The cop figured that the well dressed gentleman with the luxury car (and therefore rich) was the beleaguered party and sided with the father. The other man was cornered.

I saw a glimpse of helplessness and sympathy in the son's eye as he watched from afar. The rest of the family knew better than not to get themselves involved in the scenario. To maintain silence was the only way to maintain peace at home. Selfishness and instinct of survival overruled the sense of justice in them.

It was at this point that I felt sick. I wished I could do something. Then I realized my folly. I was a powerless God, who could only watch and listen and travel at superluminal speeds. A glorified audience to the atrocities of men, that was all that I was.

In fifteen minutes, everything was rounded up and the journey resumed with the father insisting still that it was the other drivers fault. Shame felt by the sons were making me nauseous. And as they looked at each other with disgust glistening in their eyes, I felt myself vaporize - a pathetic apparition.

Sad. But True. And Sickening.

Music & Lyrics

2011-07-12T18:24:00.001+05:30

For the sake of clarity for what is to ensue, I shall define a "song" as composition for voices performed by singing and accompanied by instrumental music. Eg : Yellow by Coldplay, High by James Blunt, etc etc (you get the idea!)

The next best thing to love - an iPod.

Have you ever wondered what is more important in a song - whether it is the music (the tune, the feel or to put it more dramatically, the soul of the song) or the lyrics (the literary marvels)? The answer has always seemed obvious to me. Its a no-brainer really. It is the music that matters the most. You dont love a song just because it has brilliant lyrics that employ superb literary tools or has incredible rhyme schemes. You fall in love with a song for its music. The first time you hear a song, be it in a store, a TV show or in a friend's iPod, what registers first is not the lyrics, its the music that captures your mind.

The mood of the song is captured by the tune of the song than the actual words. Or that is how I have always felt. The music hits me first, and then if I happen to like the song, I start listening to the lyrics. If people were to argue that a song is only enjoyable if the lyrics are good, that would be very sad. It would cripple the very idea of music transcending boundaries - be it physical or metaphorical.

Nothing stops an illiterate person from enjoying a song as much as the next person. Sure, the person who understands the lyrics may feel an extra sense of gratification towards the song. But thats just a silly notion. After all, no one can quantify how someone is affected by a song. Occasionally, I do enjoy hindi/tamil songs albeit without understanding a word of the lyrics. Sophistication imbibed by grasping the lyrics, in that sense is not necessary to be a song lover.

One could argue that I am missing out on the entirety of the song by not knowing the lyrics. Is that not as futile as saying that one has to be an art connoisseur to fully appreciate the smile of Mona Lisa? Songs are to be appreciated by the heart, not to be analysed by the brain. A romanticised notion as that might be I am inclined to think that it is not completely without sense.

Am not contesting the fact that both music and lyrics do matter in a song. At the end of all the discussion, it still is a very subjective proposition. If someone truly feels that lyrics matter more, I cant do anything about it. To each one's own. Ciao!

Oh, I love this!

2011-06-29T12:20:00.000+05:30

This is an absolutely brilliant piece of scientific artwork. Its a wallpaper I stumbled up on. Obviously its based on the famous thought experiment proposed by Erwin Schrodinger, one of the preeminent pioneers in the field of quantum mechanics. Its popularly known as Schrodinger's Cat. The beauty of this picture will be lost upon you unless you know about it. I cant help but feel completely mesmerised by it.

Quantum mechanics really is the best topic I have encountered in physics, so far. Ciao!

The Validity & Necessity of History : yeah, about that..

2011-06-29T11:44:00.000+05:30

Warning : Unmitigated condescension ahead

Social sciences or more specifically, History, ever since I was introduced to it, has always raised the same question in me - "Why am I bothering with this?" . Thankfully I was able to free myself from the torrid subject(s) after 10th when I chose Science as my main focus. I have heard about quite a few people being regretful about relinquishing Social Sciences for the sake of the much more widely accepted Science subject(s) and/or related professional degrees (medicine and engineering). Sure enough, thats bound to happen.

I would consider philosophy also to be a social science. I like philosophy, but it would be preposterous for me to propound that it ll do humanity a lot of good. Philosophy is all about giving you that personal intellectual satisfaction. It is by its very nature subjective and interpretive. And of course, when you are writing certain essays/articles, quoting philosophers might help in adding some fizz to your work.

Human beings are so complicated and diverse in their nature, interests and quirks that some of us are bound to be fascinated by Social Sciences. And then there are of course the varying levels of fascination. Some might like specific aspects of history and hate the rest of it and also be completely devoted to philosophy. What's my point, you ask? I am getting there.

I make no secret of my love for old things.

My dissent surfaces the moment someone starts claiming the impact knowing these things (history/philosophy/archaeology etc) have on the society or even mankind as a whole in some farfetched arguments. I agree that it might be an intellectually stimulating exercise to delve deep and invest a lot of time (and money) to try and gain the knowledge pertaining to these specific fields. But to claim that one cannot lead a wholesome and fulfilling life without them is very close to being ludicrous. Heck, its just as ridiculous as religion claiming to pave the path of salvation for humanity. Let me elaborate. And note that for the rest of the discussion I shall take History on one hand and Physics on the other, unless I explicitly state otherwise.

To begin with, let's take a look at history. First of all, I ll admit something. History of the past 500 years or so is something that we need to know. As a student of Physics, its essential for me to understand the way my subject developed, how the multitude of theories were formed and replaced as time went by. Because, inevitably I need to call upon that knowledge to help me understand the new theories explaining how nature works and even to think on my own for a new theory. Kindly note that its a very technical argument and that its not meant to be taken out of context and romanticised, because there is no parallel argument in case of history.

History, is something that we can do without. Sure, if you study a specific theme and make a PhD thesis on it, thats good for you. Am not questioning the amount of work that one might be required to put in. My point is that history fails to elevate itself from being a personal satisfaction tool. It does not transcend into becoming a tool that helps to better the life of human beings, of mankindas a whole. It does not help in dealing with the real issues of the world - the physical issues - hunger, poverty and the likes. How exactly does it help the society if someone finds out how the trade happened between two parts of the world 2000 years ago?

Yes, yes, it is indeed very fascinating to know that people actually traveled so far and wide to the corners of the planet in search of new vistas of culture and merchandise. But it has absolutely no relevance to the present and more importantly, none to the future either. Beyond a certain group of "scholars" and intellectuals, the find has no relevance to the common man and his problems. And that underlines my point - 'History is not an absolute necessity for humanity, but merely a glorified fun-fact-book'. Oh,wait! It might not even churn out solid facts for you most of the time.

The fickle nature of how history is read is another thing that annoys me to no end. It is true in general with Social Sciences that a lot of the discoveries or facts depends on the interpretation of the concerned individual or group of individuals looking into the matter. Not many things are concrete and clear cut. Some people might find that to be very exciting. But this intrinsic sense of ambiguity is something I cannot tolerate as a student of Science.

Now lets turn the spot light and look at physics. Simply put, what physicists are trying to do is to understand how nature works. The by-product of this curiosity and work we do is that the whole of mankind gets benefited. Not at an arbitrary intellectual level, but at a tangible level of physical significance. Advances in physics pave the way for better technology and hence better life for the people. The intellectual satisfaction that their work provides for physicists turns out to be a bonus unlike in social sciences, where the intellectual discourse takes precedence over the greater good of humanity. Its not because of lack of trying from the part of social scientists, its just how those subjects are limited.

If someone proposes a theory of nature, you test it out in the laboratory, or where ever. You ll either get results in agreement or you ll be able to disregard the theory. This is a clear cut method of dealing with the results/predictions of a theory and enables us to make the distinction between facts and interpretations. There is nothing fickle about theories in physics or its findings.

I maybe completely wrong about my take on social sciences, of course. But it is a view that I have held throughout my life and am yet to be convinced otherwise. And it has not been because of lack of effort from people to make me see sense, my social scientist father included. Ciao!

Faces and expressions..

2011-06-22T00:49:00.000+05:30

This summer, I went on a family holiday to Sikkim. Here are some of the faces that caught my attention. Oh and in case you are wondering, the first one is my brother. :D

Kids.. They are cute, cuddly and joyful. And in my opinion, they encompass all the best things about us humans. More on the trip later. Ciao!

Oh, Roger!

2011-06-06T00:16:00.000+05:30

Man, oh man.. I am a heap of disappointment right now after watching Roger Federer go down against Rafael Nadal, yet again. Well, I dint watch the whole match. I couldnt get myself to do it especially after Roger losing the first set after having had that brilliant start. I walked away from the TV at that point. I simply could not bear to watch him lose to Nadal. I skipped most of the following sets, save the bit where he came back strongly to take the third set. But I withdrew to the seclusion amply provided by my room as I witnessed Roger squander no less than three break points in the opening game of the fourth set. It was too much for me to handle.

I could see my brother amused at the way I was reacting. I was taking things so seriously. But hey, isnt that the whole point of following a sport? Indians know that feeling more than the rest of humanity albeit its restricted to just cricket. The passion, the fervor, the anger, the elation, the joy, the disappointment - that is what sports is all about.

I have felt this way before, on numerous occasions. When France crashed out of the 2002 football world cup, when Australia lost the Ashes in 2005, when Federer lost to Nadal at Wimbledon/FO/AO, when ManU lost the 2008 Champions League final against Barcelona. The list goes on. And I try to take it in the right spirit - sportingly. But sometimes, just sometimes, like it happened today, one gives up completely and revels in misery at the downfall of the player/team of his choice. Its a dire state and its not somewhere you want to be in for a considerable period of time. The heartbreak is mended faster than one suffered from a failed relationship, but it hurts just as much.

But like all things beautiful about this life that we lead, sports is also so captivating because it can make you feel such a wide spectrum of emotions. It can affect you just as deeply as falling in love. When you see a Roger Federer play an jaw-drop inducing forehand winner down the line or when you see Zidane produce a moment a moment of pure magic or when you see Ricky Ponting play a glorious pull, it inspires you. It pushes you to better yourself, to strive to be the best that you can be and it lifts you to a place that nothing else can take you. I would have it no other way. Sport is a wonderful spectacle that we are blessed to have invented.

Ciao!

*I was right, I do feel better after typing this out. This was my way of breaking out of the monotonous agony inflicted by the loss of Roger Federer - the greatest player ever to have wielded a tennis racquet. He is an artist, his tool - the racquet, his canvas - the court and the playing style - simply poetic.*

Homecoming!

2011-05-27T15:10:00.000+05:30

Ah, its been on the distant horizon for a while and its finally here. I am going home after what has been the longest period of time spent away. What was initially euphoria has now settled into a soreness of mixed feelings. Invariably, I find myself running back to the same comment that I repeat to myself everytime I feel hard done by life. Life is funny and cruelly so.

The next two months will be the maximum amount of time I will get to spend at home for a very long time to come. With the onset of the third and final year of my graduation, life will take a very decisive and overbearing turn. I will have for all practical purposes moved on from the "home" phase of my life. In that sense, I hope to be able to enjoy this summer to the hilt even with all the hiccups it promises to throw at me.

I have been thinking, what is "home"? The romantic's take would be something along the lines of "A place filled with love, where love is the prevalent emotion, a place to belong" etc etc. Let's take a moderate stand here and define it as "a place which gives you a sense of relief to walk into, calms your mind and eases the cluttering of life around you. Does "home" not become "home" if there is a single entity that causes you to rue at the 'misfortune' of heading back. Like a wife returning to a husband whom she no longer loves? Or, for that matter, a husband meandering back to a wife he despises. Somehow, it seems more sensational to cite the first example.

Ah, I guess its pointless to go on. Most people head home to relax, I get back to stress myself out. Peace out!

PS - I sincerely hope there are good posts to follow this.

Breathing Space!

2011-05-07T18:45:00.001+05:30

Assignments, projects, tests, practicals and now finally, the cherry on the cake - university exams. Jam packed have my past two months been, people. The most stressed out I have been. And its not over yet. I have four more papers to go. After couple of nocturnal weeks, its breathing space. I have a three day break before the next exam. Parents are in town and tonight, I sleep well. Just keeping in touch with the blogging world. Ciao!

Lonely in a sea of people..

2011-03-27T13:13:00.000+05:30

Two days ago, I sat down to watch the cricket world cup quarter final match between Australia and India putting everything else behind. I had a test scheduled for the next day and I had a lot left to study. But I was never going to miss this match, not for the world. It was THE match of this world cup. Not even an Indo-Pak match would entail so much excitement for me. The atmosphere in the Junior Common Room of St. Stephen's College was electric. I can only gawp in awe as I imagine the real situtaion in Motera where the match was happening - 50,000 fans, roaring India on. The crowds in the subcontinent are really the heart of the matches here. They can almost will the players to win. Simply put, its just compelling stuff.

He may not be your favorite, but you cant argue, the man's pure class!

Australia had won the toss and decided to bat first. Good signs, I thought to myself, especially considering the fact that the pitch was going to take more and more turn as the day progressed. If only Australia were to post a good total, I knew it would be a brilliant match. And as it happened, thats exactly what they did. Ricky Ponting crafted one of the best hundreds I have witnessed. The knock essayed his class, determination and character. It was an apt snub to all those who were calling for his head in the past few days. It's indeed true when they say that form is temporary but class is permanent. Hats off, Ricky. You really are second only to the god - SRT.

The Indian chase was bound to set up a tantalising scenario for any cricket lover. More and more people poured into the JCR. The noise was defeaning as each boundary was welcomed with thundering applause and loud screams of approval. And whenever there was a close call or indeed when there was a wicket falling my voice rung out breaking the others' silence. Scornful looks were exchanged and abuses and bolsters directed my way. Heat of the moment, things happen. In a sense, the friction made the match all the more enjoyable or maybe I spoke too early.

In a room with 100+ crazy and hyper Indian supporters, I was the only Aussie fan. What else was I to expect from a volatile home crowd rooting for their team? Would I have acted any different if the tables had turned and I was part of such a crowd? I was too into the match to let the annoyance of my fellow college mates to get to me. What's life if you dont give into your passions? After all, I have been through such situations before. It has been a dozen years since I started rooting for the mighty Aussies. I have always been alone at it. All my friends have been anti-Aus without fail and have invariably been irked at me for being the exact opposite. But nothing ever got out of hand. Boy, was I in for a new experience or what?!

So, the match trudged along with me in the centre of the room. Cheering as each wicket fell, applauding the brilliant fielding efforts, I sat there. And for a while, I fancied an Australian victory. In fact, I was more than sure of it. And then, things fell apart. Australia lost it. Yuvraj and Raina were playing extremely well. With the match drifting away, I grew wary of a very real threat looming in the air. For the first time ever, I was faced with the possibility of physical harm from an adrenaline pumped mob which was being egged on by some not-so-friendly characters. It was rather scary, to be truthful. Although in hindsight, I think I will remember this as one of the most interesting scenes from my college life.

When you are faced with the odds of 1 on 100, you dont really fancy your chances. And self-preservation and survival instinct kicks in. I knew I needed to get the hell out of there before the match got over. But it wasnt going to be easy. I needed some sort of diversion, people weren't exactly going to let me walk out just like that. The match was drawing to a close and the result was a foregone conclusion by now. The match no longer held any interest for me, I just wanted to get out. And then, I got the perfect chance. Raina carted Lee for a six and as pandemonium broke loose in the JCR, I slipped out and made myself invisible.

Much to the dismay of those who wanted to throw me in a mud pit and what not, I was successful in staying out of sight till the euphoria settled down. I got back to my room to find out that someone had left a hate message/abusive message written with a whitener pen. Going a touch over board with things, I would say. It was extremely disappointing that something like that would happen in a place like Stephen's. Even if I discount that, the fact that I was good pals with almost all of the people there, adds to the feeling of being let down. It pains me to know that there are people around me that find pleasure in exposing their uncivil, uncouth and cultureless nature. God help them in life! And thanks for the experience.

Ciao!

Of a murder, prudence & skepticism..

2011-03-11T16:56:00.001+05:30

Preemptive strike: I start to write this acknowledging that I am at risk of being perceived as insensitive, unemotional, despicable, uncouth, skeptic, whiny and maybe even naive. I am invoking my right to freedom of expression and I would also like to remind you that there is always a logical, critical and unbiased point of view and that is what I am trying to offer here.

On the 8th of March, Radhika Tanwar - 20 year old student of Delhi University was shot and killed in broad daylight from point blank range. The regrettable incident took place when the girl was walking down a crowded foot-over bridge in the South Campus of DU. The murderer fled the scene with apparent ease, as by-standers took a while to understand what had happened. The sound of the shot was muffled by the heavy traffic and other ambient noise with people mistaking it to be a fire-cracker and some even thought that the girl's mobile phone had exploded (!).

She was shot from behind, in the back of her neck and chances of her surviving was very bleak. But the negligence from the witnesses all around did not help Radhika's cause. As things spanned out, nobody was ready to help the girl. Everyone just stood by and watched. It was not until the police constable who was on beat, came around that there was a co-ordinated effort to get the girl to the hospital. As I read somewhere 'by then, precious moments were lost. Radhika she dint make it to the hospital alive.' And amidst the confusion masked by the ignorance of the crowd, the killer who is supposedly a stalker slipped away into one of the nearby busy streets.

The murder has created an uproar in Delhi and especially the student community of DU. The students are up in arms about the issue, protesting for justice to be served swiftly. One of the student political parties has called for a two-day strike. While this is a show of solidarity and might help shower some extra attention to be drawn to the case, I do not know how prudent it is.

The crime was committed two days ago and here we are protesting, already. Even in Stephen's, there was a general body meeting called for to express solidarity to the cause. The cause being justice served and to express our sadness in the life that was lost. I guess, the point was also to underline the fact that there's a lot of cruelty out in the "big bad world". A resolution was also passed expressing the sentiments of the community. Somehow, the whole exercise felt painstakingly useless. But I suppose, it is a right kind of gesture even if pointless.

Ideally, yes - the person responsible should have been caught by now especially considering the circumstances of the crime - that it was committed out in the public with a potentially large number of eye-witnesses. But we cannot put all the blame on the authorities even as they are admittedly not the most competent lot, around. They havent been helped by the fact that there's been a dearth of witnesses coming forth to bring the killer to justice.

And why would they? To get entangled in the system is a very messy affair. Nobody wants to be involved, not if they can help it. We have grown so accustomed to violence that even if a murder happens right in front of you, its easier for you to keep your mouth shut than to come out. Until and unless disaster strikes within close quarters everyone likes to play it safe and I cant blame them for feeling that way.

The media is gonna pour a lot of attention to this case and the sensationalizing will last a while. And it is a matter of debate how that is impacting the investigation, whether it is indeed speeding up or hampering the proceedings. Keeping that doubt aside, I only wonder how the media can play a role in actively keep a watch on things. I am talking about that time in the near future when Radhika becomes a relic of the past. After all, the media is not driven by a thirst for justice but by commercial aspirations. I am reminded of the media circus surrounding the Aarushi Talwar murder. There's hardly any sense of active pursuing of truth when you analyse the media except for maybe exceptions like Tehelka.

I am afraid that the inertia of the law enforcement agencies is far too big a stumbling block for the uprisal to have an impact on. I look at the situation and I see a loop of events. Crime and corruption go on in our society, and every now and then there comes one incident that seemingly stirs up the mass conscience, its helped along by a raging media. There's a sense of impending revolution. And then, everything goes back to "normal", until it happens all over again. You could argue that things are indeed getting better, even if at an infinitesimally slow rate. But I dont think thats enough. What we need is collective overhauling rather than half hearted tweaks here and there. As a skeptic, I believe that we regress more than we progress. Its just a feeling, I dont have empirical data to back me up, atleast not at this point of time.

It also saddens me to think of the n number of cases that never get the attention that they deserve. There are countless number of victims who fades away without even getting a chance to occupy our collective conscience for even a micro second. There are millions out there who at the very least deserves some of the otherwise selective sensationalization. That's a discussion for some other day.

The end of Radhika's life has been a heinous happening for a variety of reasons. Starting from the fact that a human life was cut short in such a vile and cowardly manner to the crowd mulling over a dying person to the authorities being inefficient to the lack of citizens putting their hands up and helping with the identification of the murderer. Its a grand shame to us all. The change has to come from within and earnestly. I am a skeptic but I have my fingers crossed when I say "I dont know how much we can change".

Radhika, if you can hear me know that I sincerely hope that you aren't troubled with your death or the aftermath of it. May you be somewhere untroubled and at peace, oblivious to the pains of this world.

Ciao!

Princess of Death

2011-03-04T23:56:00.000+05:30

Hear my prayer, princess of death,

Take me by thy mighty arms.

Show me what lies beyond the reality of life.

What lurks beneath the realm of pain and love.

Extend thy surreal reach,

Reap my sins, free my soul.

Exorcise the ghosts of my desecrated past.

Save me, oh please, please do!

Oblige me now as I plead

Liberate my soul and raise me to hell.

Take me by thy mighty arms

Show me what lies beyond the reality of life.

As I lie down, one last time

I find that my heart still chime.

As I close my eyes and focus on the light,

I sense you close, smiling, embracing tight.

Oh dear princess,

You have finally come for me.

With beauty unparalleled.

And eyes, I cant pull away from.

Heed me now, before its too late.

Am tired of looking into the past.

Searching for salvation, running from frustration.

... I feel you underneath my skin.

It was all worth it,

All the wait, all the patience.

Broken I lay, feeling nothing.

Nothing but the kiss of death.

Ciao!

The little joys of life..

2011-02-15T23:33:00.000+05:30

Life in Stephen's is a brilliant affair, to say the least. With great friends and a good course of Physics comes a certain sense of satisfaction unlike any other. And it also leads to crazy moments of joy that you get to share with some of the most exceptional beings I have ever met. Thank you guys, for all the wonderful times.

Ciao!

Me, a camera and thus the pics!

2011-02-12T01:31:00.000+05:30

There is not much to write about when you post pics that you have clicked recently and you deem worth sharing. Its as they tell you as a kid (and sometimes as an older person) that a picture is worth a thousand words. But thats not relevant here as I dont think any of these pics fall into that particular category.

These are the kind of amateur macro shots that gives you a pseudo sense of satisfaction about your photographic skill set. The reality is that any idiot with a decent digital camera can go nuts with it and take good macro shots. Its the eye for seeing good shots on the fly that makes you a great photographer. At least, thats my take on it.

Candid photography is definitely my thing. Spontaneity is far more interesting than the kind of photography that focuses on technical details. Wildlife photography is thus a very exciting and challenging prospect. How do I know? I tried to get a good pic of this kitten that is roaming around in college and well, lets just say I decided to stick to clicking inanimate objects.

Things to write about. Pictures to click. Lessons to learn. Life to live.

Adios, amigos!

Friendly dogs..

2011-02-03T19:28:00.000+05:30

The old dogs in college have been disappearing and we have a new bunch of unruly kind running around. Then there was this one in the picture. She was the peaceful typo. Ah, I have never been much of a dog person. But even so I cant help it but to smile. Ciao!

Dear God!

2011-01-02T01:06:00.000+05:30

I write this in shock. Well, thats evident from the title of the post in itself. You know something's up when I refer to "God". I just finished watching the movie. "The Boy In The Striped Pajamas". And gosh, its one heck of a movie. Here's the IMDB link.

Heart-wrenching is what I would use to describe the movie. I am presently in the state of mind that I am familiar with. The last time I was in this state of shock was when I read up on some mind-blowing articles on the Gujarat riots sometime in the early 2000s. And before that, I was first induced to this frame of mind was when I read Ann Frank's Diary.

The movie is set in the time of the second World War and it shows us the grotesque reality through the innocent eyes of 'Bruno' played by Asa Butterfield. He's the son of a commandant in charge of a Jew concentration camp. And the movie portrays the unforeseen and unimaginable consequences of his friendship with one of the Jewish boys, 'Shmuel'. The innocence of the kid is

It paints a stark picture of how humanity was so lost in those days and makes you wonder how better we are today. A lot of people still get mutilated, raped, murdered and even more of them treated badly and unjustly. Ah, well... But thats a topic for a different post. Coming back to the movie, the child actors do a marvelous job. They make it seem so easy. And the script flows fluently and at no point do you feel that the story is stagnant.

#Spoiler Alert : I suggest you skip the following paragraph if you plan to watch the movie later.

When Bruno decides to help himself inside the camp, you can sense the impending doom. You want to scream to the child, "For heaven's sake, dont! DONT!". Thereafter the feeling of helplessness builds up and when it finally sinks in, it leaves you dumbfounded. Its a feeling that lingers on even after the credits are done. The final scenes of the movie are arguable some of the most well shot scenes I have ever seen. The frenetic search for Bruno and then the father's roar followed by the mother wailing helplessly. They move you and they make you think. They screw with your head, but they show you a glimpse of the ugly, naked and sick truth. One heck of a movie, people. Its a must watch!

The movie leaves you shell shocked and in a state of total disdain. I find myself numb and my mind is revolting. The fact that human beings are capable of something as ghastly as "The Holocaust" sends a shudder through your spine. Its something that we conveniently forget. I can see how history can be handy in making us understand ourselves and in turn let us be better. But yes, that subsequently raises the infinite dimensional question of how History should be taught and what History should be taught and whose History should be taught.

If there's one thing that I have learned from my close association with history students here in Stephen's, it is that there is hardly ever a linear and straightforward history. Its always dependent on a personal point of view and interpretative. Some people (read history enthusiasts/scholars/students) find that challenging and intellectually stimulating. Others like your truly find that extremely disturbing and a waste of time for most practical purposes. Thats one reason why am drawn to science. There's a sense of impartiality and impersonal nature that is intrinsically attached to science and those provide as sources of increased affinity towards the subject.

Ah, the relevance of history is not something that I can take the liberty to discuss at this particular moment. Am hard pressed for time as exams are right at my door steps. Break in, they shall and I better be prepared for they are worse than hell hounds if you arent ready to face them. "God" save us all. Hehe! Ciao!

31st December, 2010

2010-12-31T15:33:00.001+05:30

Its the last day of 2010. And its time for my traditional end-of-the-year post. This has been a funny year. I say funny, not in the conventional sense of the word but in the sense that its been interesting, intriguing and riveting. (Then again, dont I feel the same way after every year??). Its time to draw the blinds on 2010 and to look back at how life was.

How will I remember 2010 in the years to come? Will it be the year when I went through the worst time of my life? Or will it be the year when life surprised me by showing me how I could still pull through? Of course, we always judge a passage of time by looking at the end result. Half of the past year was completely in shambles. Life was messy, things were just out of place, peace of mind was something of a luxury and I wasnt being myself.

I behaved in ways that I wouldnt have in better circumstances. I have acted incredibly selfishly and inconsiderate at times. I have hurt more people this past year than I have with the rest of my life. It wasnt my intention to do so, but I understand that my actions have nonetheless done the damage (however minuscule it may be). I could plead temporary insanity for acting the way I did. But I cannot make myself feel any less guilty by hiding behind such an excuse. You dont judge yourself by turning a blind eye to how you acted when you were in a really bad frame of mind. You judge yourself precisely by looking at how you were when you werent your "normal" self. I regret having been the way I was, and all those who had/has an issue with me - if you happen to read this, know that am really sorry.

I see no point in going into details of the miserable times that I have had. If there's something that I have learnt from life in 2010 it is that life never really ends. There's always room for salvaging it. It might not be obvious how you can get back in track, but its imperative that you dont lose hope. Remember to sit back, relax and let things settle. The moment you try and make things happen, things go awry.

This year has given me a radical change in how I look at the concept of love. I realise how easy it is to be naive about it. Love is never absolute and fixed. It can sneak upon you from unexpected quarters and you will be surprised to the core. Love lost is not a life lost. I would have never agreed to that 6 months back. I would have fought hard with anyone trying to make me see that. It took a really hard lesson for me to see that.

This is also the year when I realised how ego plays such a crucial role in the survival of a being under strenuous and testing scenarios. When you feel that you have lost the purpose in life, ego gives you a new sense of satisfaction. It keeps you afloat, ego boosts giving you natural highs that leave you feeling relieved off your desperation, even if for a brief period of time. The brevity of it doesnt matter, you crave for more. It takes your mind off things, letting you heal.

I end this year, at peace. Content at heart and happy about life. Love is a strange thing and it never quite has ceased to fascinate me. I wish that we always are lucky enough to find that love factor in each of our lives, that gives us a sense of direction, another dimension of meaning, a strand of infinite hope.

I would like to dedicate this to all my dear friends. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for being right by my side during the dark days, the times when I was being difficult, egotistic and selfish. Thank you for finding me, keeping me and loving me. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

I wish all you people, a wonderful new year. May it be the best yet. Dont give up on life, no matter how bleak it may seem. Its easier said than done. Hold on tight to your dear ones and never let go. Dont hold back. Ciao!

PS- Mind the absence of editting. [:D]

Have winter, Will enjoy...

2010-12-30T01:32:00.000+05:30

Its winter, finally. And its brilliant as ever. Its funny that I should feel as though its the 30th time I am experiencing it, whilst in reality its just the second time. Being in cold conditions is like being in a state of incubation. The cold is not exactly encouraging productivity neither is it helping in resisting hibernative tendencies. But the challenge is welcome and its certainly worth the wait. Its like they say, 'cold and freezy' over 'sweaty and humid' is preferred, any time.

In my opinion, the winter mornings are one of the best things about winter, if you can make it off the bed ie. It is indeed a mammoth task to get yourself up. But if you can manage that, the sun rays struggling through the mist and beating down on you, is a wondrous spectacle. Throw in some music to the mix and you have something that can leave you enchanted.

Another year is bidding good bye, another session of ruckus is about to kick on. A "new" year is nothing but the by product of a symbolism used by man as a matter of convenience. It is just another day which is hyped up and highly romanticised. A society driven by market forces dont help the cause of the everyday guy trying to treat as just-another-day. One way or the other you are caught up in it. I have tried, earnestly to embrace the festivity and all the things associated with it for if it brings joy to people around me, well, why the heck not. But I have completely failed to bring about any change in my mental make up in looking at these "special" days, be it religious or secular.

Some people like to celebrate the coming of a new year, some like to look back on the year past, some like to plan ahead, some do all the three. But thats a natural response to such a well established convention. You are born into it, you cant escape it. You cant even look away without appearing morose. There's a flurry of text messages wishing me new year. I reply, as courtesy not out of feeling a real need to do it. But then again, its something that I talked about. Its something that brings joy to the people around you. It doesnt hurt you to do an act that brings about a positive impact on others even if it might not exactly be something that you principally believe in or care about. For the greater good, sacrificing the ego is a good thing.

Hope you all have a wonderful year ahead. ;) Ciao, people!

I wish I had a "proper" camera to capture the myriad forms of beauty around me.

Exciting times ahead!

2010-12-25T10:41:00.000+05:30

And I have a laptop now. It was delivered quite unexpectedly on the 24th of Dec, four days ahead of schedule. Well, this timely capture above (by Jeetu) vividly showcases my excitement. Too bad its exam time. I cant spend too much time on the laptop. I am really excited at the prospect of actually being able to start full-on programming and also the idea of being able to write things as soon as something pops up in my head. I might finally be able to arrest a good deal of the myriad of thoughts that run through my head. Exciting times, ahoy!

Ciao!

PS - Its X'mas today. For all those who care, hope you have a fun day out/in.

Bubbles of fun!

2010-12-17T16:55:00.000+05:30

Life is good provided you know how to make it so. A brilliant example would be to look at what happened just the other day. Second year Physics(Hons) though not as hectic as the first year, is still a tough nut to deal with, with us having classes atleast till lunch, six days a week, throughout the year. And thats probably why it gave us such a feeling of uneasiness when we were done for the day having had just a single class (lab and the subsequent class was cancelled owing to first years' having their semester exams). We rarely have such opportunities to just cartwheel time away.

We had two choices, either return back to our respective rooms and burrow ourselves in one book or the other OR go out, somewhere, anywhere and just enjoy the brilliant weather. And it took a coin to be tossed for us to finally make up our minds and 5 of us set forth in what turned out to be the beginning of a fun trip. After carefully considering options like duck park, India gate, CP and all as possible destinations for our trip, we finally decided upon INA and Sarojini Market. INA for the cheap and lovely Mal food (Beef, my god, BEEF!!) and Sarojini for whetting our shopping appetite (if any).

We returned back to college after a good 5 hours of enjoyment which included aimless walks, talks and some juvenile fun in blowing soap bubbles (more than half an hour of it). Life is good, dear fellows. Ciao!

"After thermal class was canceled 5 friends decide to toss a coin to decide whether to go hang out randomly in Delhi. If the result was heads,(and heads means go out), what is the probability that they have fun? Ans: 1 ;-) The power of probability is amazing." - Sandip

Laughter..

2010-12-17T16:45:00.000+05:30

If people around get to have a good time because of you, is that not a cause well served?? Isnt it a good idea to be sporty enough to let people laugh at you and to laugh at yourself?? Of course, too much of it will be bad for your social status. But hey, life is to be enjoyed and not spent bothering about. Ciao!

The Eye!

2010-12-07T20:17:00.000+05:30

Ciao!

Of Freezy Baths

2010-12-04T11:21:00.003+05:30

The temperature drops to sub 20 degrees, you start looking deeper into your wardrobe to dig up those "proper" winter clothes, water starts to freeze you so bad that bathing sans hot water becomes a god damned nightmare.

Bathing in winter is one of those things that you have to convince yourself to be absolutely necessary. Its very seldom that you feel the imperative need for a bath when its all cold and non-sweaty atmosphere. But consider this, a situation in which you havent bathed in 3 days and you are returning after a good hour or so at the gym.

Its one of those scenarios when you feel filthy and the only way out is a bath. But to your dismay, you find that theres no water in your block. Being as desperate as you are, you head out to the other block in search of water, warm water ie. And boy, the geyser's in the other block decides to go on strike.

This is the precarious situation that I found myself in. And I did what any self-respecting guy with a decent sense of hygiene would do. I said "Fuck it" and took a bath with the cold water. Yes, I live to tell the tale.

Ciao!

The Deal About Marriage!

2010-11-07T18:01:00.000+05:30

I have (almost) always been a believer in marriages. In the sense that I had always taken it for granted that I would "eventually" end up getting married. It is an observation that is shared by my close friends. Apparently, I am the marrying kind; a "family person" so to speak. [:D] Jokes aside, marriage was never something I deemed as "unnecessary". Except for maybe the couple of years when I was a small kid going through an anti-girl phase and continuously proclaimed to his parents that he would NEVER marry. My reasons varied from "I dont like girls" to "I hate the wedding cakes that they use!". My father would look at me mischievously and with a smug expression on his face which almost seemed to mockingly say "Just you wait, son!". Man, how I used to hate that look.

Marriage feels like a natural progression of events, an eventuality that feels right. You like someone, that becomes a serious relationship, evolves into a live-in relationship and then ends up being a marriage. That is how I see things happening with me and I saw nothing wrong with that picture. In fact, I still dont. Its just that I am wondering about the last step in that process - the marriage. What's the deal about it??

Recently, I had a very interesting conversation/discussion on the concept of marriages with a friend of mine. She was someone who belongs to the radical school of thought that doesnt believe in the institution of marriage. That is perhaps not a perfectly accurate statement, let me put it this way. She is a follower of the ideology that marriage is something that is completely unnecessary. The conversation led me to ponder over the matter and well, here's what I have on the matter.

The said friend of mine, boldly proclaimed marriage as something that validates a relationship either for the sake of religion, law or the society. I had never thought of marriage that way and well, it is true isnt it? Marriage is really nothing but a social/legal contract between two persons that envisages a sense of kinship. Is it really something that is needed for a society??

Here, one is coerced into answering in the positive because of our force of habit. And that is what I did too. It felt stupid to think of marriage as something completely arbitrary and even obstructive to personal freedom. But when you actually strip it down to the bare essentials, isnt that what marriage is?? Think about it, like I did with all the romantic notions and ideals aside. Do you really see the need for marriage?

If I am in a committed, serious relationship, I dont need the authority or validation to be granted to me by a piece of paper. It probably would make my life a lot easier to just go ahead and be married. That would reprieve me of the incessant scrutiny of the society. And am sure that marriage carries along with it a lot of legal benefits too. But if you are willing to overlook those things and willing to go sparring with the society, why bother marrying?? The idea is after all, exciting.

Yes, I know what you are going to tell me. Marriages add to the stability of families, thereby the society and hence the country and the world so on and so forth. But is that really true?? Agreed, marriage creates a significantly annoying hindrance for people looking for an easy way out of it. For instance, it prevents people from walking out of a relationship based on flimsy fights and other such pretexts. On the face of it, it seems as though thats a good price to pay for the betterment of the society. But what about the other side of the coin??

The act of wedding ie the process of entering into the marriage "contract" is indeed binding the two people together. It doesnt end well for a large chunk of the population. I have heard so many Indians proudly look down upon the Western culture quoting their loose morals and statistics of divorce. What we dont realise is that a marriage that has lasted doesnt necessarily mean that its been a good one. All advocates of that view please remember this "all that glitters is not gold!".

Now to elaborate on that point a bit. Marriages more often than not entrap the females and it suits well to the likes of the male dominant society. The women who are beaten up and abused still stick to their husbands for a variety of reasons. Primarily, they endure it all for the sake of the children. They are also deterred by the uneasiness of the legal hassle involved should they try for divorce. Also, the society judges them badly. If and when a marriage fails the blame is more often than not, put squarely on the wife. "Oh, she wasnt a good wife." "That one had too much attitude." and other such comments are not new to someone living in the Indian society. The society is mainly driven by the male chauvinists and they look down upon these issues. The perception of marriage as a suave attempt to ensure male domination is not without its merits. But thats a topic for another time.

Something else that comes to my mind is the recent incident of a young tech-savvy husband "jokingly" divorcing his wife (repeating the word "talaq" thrice is the act of divorcing your wife according to Muslim tradition) over a Skype chat. Yes, that was something truly nutty and embarassingly bizarre. Never mind the fact that the incident was reported in the form of an enquiry to the religious heads in the country as to whether his marriage still holds. What is more sad is the fact that the religious authorities took it seriously and then produced a verdict that upheld the divorce! [:O] Reading about it on the news paper left me in one of those "Dear God, Where's The Limit??!" state of mind.

This is only a post that skims the surface of the issue tangentially. A more serious look is required. Its a topic that books can be written on, debates can be held on, national television can be glued onto. I havent done the proper research or thought about it enough to be able to defend my views against a hardened conservative or fundamentalist with the right kind of verbal fluency.

But whatever I have thought of now and how my mind feels about this issue presently, I dont think thats going to change. I think we are indeed in line for a massive change sometime in the recent future. Most people will lament that its the end of families and life as we know it. But I have faith in my generation and I think we will be mature enough to prove those people wrong. Humanity will always survive, marriage was just something that we took along for the ride and now, we are losing the penchant for it. Seems to me that its just the next step in our social evolution. Ciao!!

PS - Thank you, Jain. For leaving your laptop in my room that enabled me to type this out. *thumbs up* Also, kindly ignore any stupid spelling or grammatic errors. I am just too lazy to edit. I unsincerely apologise for the same. [:P]

Reek Of A Killer

2010-11-06T20:00:00.003+05:30

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen,

Am announcing my plan to kill.

And kill I will, with pain I shall fill,

And then sleep I will like a dead shrill.

Now that dint make sense,

I know that wasn't right.

I would kill tonight,

If only I wasn't so tired to fight.

My mind is blank and bent,

My eyes glisten with intent,

'Cause tonight, ladies and gentlemen,

I plan to kill many a men.

Now who do I start with?

You, sir? Are you my first?

Or maybe you, my dear.

You could be mine for death.

Am not a murderer, yet.

I could be, but do I get to be?

Who really cares now?

Tell me, do you fret?

I realise now, its all about me.

All that is wrong is within me.

I would kill myself tonight, dear fellows.

If only I wasn't feeling so fucking tired.

Ciao!

Music for the battered mind..

2010-10-23T01:23:00.000+05:30

I have hit upon musical jackpot in the form of the new album from 'The Script'. The Irish band best known for their super hit single 'The Man Who Cant Be Moved' came out with their second studio album titled 'Science & Faith'. Its based on the dire strait that Irish society is in owing to the recession.

And well, they have not done as bad a job as I was led to believe by this review that I read prior to listening to the album. They have some brilliant songs in it. My personal favorite is 'Dead Man Walking'. I am absolutely addicted to it.

"I’m .. already broken, already gone, already know you’re moving on

I’m a breathing, talking, dead man walking

Already see it, in your face already someone, in my place

I’m a breathing, talking, dead man walking yeah

I’m a breathing, talking dead man walking"

I love this album and I rate it 8/10. If you are the kind that love alternative music, you ll love this one.

Ciao!

Solution..

2010-10-19T01:04:00.000+05:30

It's been a long fight,

All I wanted was to slay my demons.

And I am at my limit now,

I can't hold on anymore.

There's a flash of darkness.

I feel the flow of time retarding.

I wonder to my dismay,

"When did things get so bad??"

Oh fate, you presented me a shock,

It's left me cold, empty and broken.

I try stitching myself up,

But something gives off every time.

To be whole again,

To feel that rush of blood again.

Oh dear heart, bleed not;

For its just too easy a solution!

Villaneous!

2010-10-13T01:45:00.000+05:30

I would make a damned good villain, I think...

Of foiled plans, wrecked holidays and discovering new music!

2010-10-13T01:43:00.003+05:30

I write this on the last night of my October break. I cant help but feel a slight sense of disappointment. I had huge expectations for this two week break. I had big plans, meeting my friends and spending a lot of time with them was the primary agenda for these two weeks. The rest of the stuff like food, sleep, movies all had a backstage role as opposed to being a frontline theme. I wanted to get a bike from someone and head out on a biking/photography expedition. Alas, you cant always have you what you plan to have!

The flow of time was ridiculously fast and the rains were really dampening my spirits. You know, rains are generally beautiful. But when it rains throughout the day, for several days in a row, forcing you to stay in and enforcing a change of plans, it just gets to you.

Before I knew it, the first week was over and I had been busy with stuff at home. Enter week two, and things got a little better with me finally meeting DV, Dons, Kaimu and Theju. I had a wonderful time with them. The meetup of the TIME gang too happened. I had plans to go to CET, but I couldnt make it happen. It got postponed every single day, for one reason or for the other. If it was me being busy today, the next day, it would be me feeling not up to it. Sigh, it was a stupid break for the most part.

I wanted the vacation to be more about my friends than anything else. But as it turned out, it revolved around my family's personal computer more than anything else. Even the iPod faded into less prominence. And that is saying something. I was hooked to the PC and I was downloading things like crazy. Music, movies etc. I dont think I have ever been as active on Facebook as I have been in the past two weeks. Joblessness and laziness can be a killing combination.

Linkin Park, Lady Antebellum, Katy Perry, Inhale Exhale, The Offspring, Carmen Costa, Matchbox 20 are some of the bands/artists I have been listening to (and liking) over the past two weeks. Inhale Exhale is a christian hardcore metal band and they are pretty good. And now I know for sure that I dont discriminate music even if they are based on religion. The quality of music is all that matters, the source or the inspiration doesnt matter to a listener.

Katy Perry's new album - 'Teenage Dream' is as good as the first one, if not better.

These guys are rather good too, if you are in the mood for country music ie.

And, Inhale Exhale can leave you exuberant provided you have enough decibels!

Ciao ppl!

I hate love stories... Definitely!

2010-10-11T21:20:00.001+05:30

I have this horrible tendency to confirm my worst fears. I am never satisfied imagining a worst case scenario. I have the insatiable urge to bring about the scenario in real life and put it to test. Bollywood movies are never really a good idea. It was one such compulsion that led me to watch "I Hate Luv Storys" against my better judgement.

Bull!

You almost throw up watching this absolute dumb*uck movie!! Yes, I watched the whole of it. Lets just say that I was in the mood for some bollywood absurdity. The only saving grace this movie has is Sonam Kapoor. Shes easy on the eyes. If you ever consider seeing this one, I have got one word for you : DONT! Turn around and run for your sanity!

Ciao!!

Happy?!

2010-10-11T01:01:00.000+05:30

A hundred days back,

The sun rose in the east and set in the west.

North was just north and the same for south!

And all was well with the world.

I watched the sun dive into the sea,

I felt the wind gushing through my hair,

Darkness overpowered the earth and I heard your enthralling voice.

Ooh.. The nights, they sure were lovely.

I cant help but think about the time,

When all was well with us,

When the days began with you,

And then they ended with you.

Ah, those were the days!

Love was what ruled everything,

Love was what everything meant,

And love was what it was all about.

And then everything changed,

Just like that, it just changed.

I was a fool for thinking "all was fine"

But no, all wasnt fine.

And everything came to an end.

All the sweet things turned sour.
All the good things turned bad.

Memories were just memoirs of a lost past.

Numbness was the first line of defense,

Anger came next,

Frustration bullied its way through,

But despair won the war.

What was it all for??

How was it all bad??

I dont know the answers.

I dont know the stupid answers.

A hundred days back,

We were fine and in love.

A hundred days back,

I never saw this coming!

And now, a hundred days later,

The sun still rises and sets the same,

North and south remain the same,

But tell me this, are you fucking happy now??

Ciao!

I want a dragon!

2010-10-07T03:26:00.000+05:30

Okay, folks. Here's how the story begins. The protagonist ("me") was having a sleepless night and decided to watch some movie in the hope that he might find his long lost drowsiness. And here he is writing this at 3 in the morning, right after watching the movie 'How To Train Your Dragon'. This was one movie that I had planned on watching last summer in theatre in 3D. But unfortunately for me, by the time I made up my mind, the movie was no longer in town. Sad, is the duration of the less famous Hollywood movies in the multiplex-less dwelling areas of us mortals.

Here's the deal, straight up first. Its a bloody brilliant movie. I would rate it at 8.5/10. This may not be one for the extremely critical movie buffs who look for the classical aspect of things. Its a feel good movie, in essence. Then again the beauty of the movie lies in the fact that it doesn't reduce to being a trite movie.

For more basic info about the movie head to the imdb link mentioned earlier or just google it. The portrayal of the friendship between the boy and the beast is marvelously done. The dragon's emotions at some points reminded me of 'Wall-E'. The communication of non-speaking beings to the audience have been done prolifically ever since that milestone movie. Being an animation feature film lends it that additional novelty. I feel terrible for having not watched it in 3-D. *sigh*

In short this is one movie not to be missed. I should roll over and sleep now. Interesting day ahead. Ciao, ppl!

A lonely walk in the beach..

2010-10-04T23:12:00.000+05:30

@1630 IST

For some reason that I am not sure of, I have always considered beaches as sanctuaries of peace. Well, today I found out that that definition/conception is nothing but a load of crap. Beaches can act as places which comfort you, interest you with heart breaks/epiphanies/intriguing experiences, give you peace of mind and provide a space which helps you give clarity of thought. Not the case always, dear friends, certainly not always. It was probably foolish of me to idealize it in the first place. Nothing is perfect, after all.

Today, I found the beach to be utterly boring. Maybe I wanted it to be soothing just a bit too much. There was nothing beyond the banal joys of the sea breeze and the clouds. Ah well, atleast I had music on. What would life be, if not for iPod!? The mundaneness of life without my pod scares me!! [:O]

@1740 IST

Ciao!

Musical Solace

2010-10-04T16:02:00.000+05:30

"It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now"

The above bit is from a song called 'Need You Now' by this country music band I just heard, Lady Antebellum. For the moment am liking them, but I can tell that I wont be stuck to them for long. Country music is something that I listen to only when am in "that" mood when I feel like well... country music! Admittedly, I dont get into that mood often.

Theres been an influx of new music thanks to being at home. Linkin Park's released a new album, 'A Thousand Suns'. Boy, they have experimented with their music. Its one step further from 'Minutes To Midnight'. Am mostly conflicted on how I feel about the new LP, but then again, being a die hard fan I am programmed to like it. Sigh! Am going on blabbering in stupid redundant loops! Gosh, 'redundant loop' in itself is repeating myself!

My head's not working. Am desperately trying to get hold of a bike. Having a dry day at home, for a change. Would be a shame not to make full use of it. Ciao!

My odyssey through the skies..

2010-09-30T00:05:00.000+05:30

Edges are enticing...

I have seldom seen such awesome skies as I did during my journey home for the autumn break. It happened during the patch of the journey when we were passing through Andhra. I had just woken up from one of my many naps and decided to go out of the AC for some of the good ol' fresh air. And as it turned out I was out staring at the heavens in utter disbelief for the next hour or so. The cloud formations were just brilliant, mind blowing. The clouds were so close to earth that it was almost as if the gap between the sky and earth blurred. My pics unfortunately does not do justice to what I witnessed. It was magical and has left an impression of peace and calm upon me.

Ciao!

Home..

2010-09-28T18:26:00.000+05:30

Scattered but at peace..

This pic is an accurate depiction of my state of mind at the moment. I took this snap on my way to Kamla one day. Its a Delhi sky with actual clouds!! Love this one. Until next time, ciao ppl!

2010-09-28T17:47:00.000+05:30

Shadows of the past,

They dont count now.

But I keep them nonetheless,

For they are mine to keep.

More photos...

2010-09-18T03:57:00.000+05:30

The title profusely makes it clear as to what this particular post pertains to. But there is also this one tiny thing about the change to the blog template. As I always do, I have gone from completely dark theme to an all white, super simple theme. Comments will be deeply appreciated.

Meanwhile, here are some of my latest photographic exploits...

I can sense that there's a big post on the way. But for now, am just too tired to write anything more. Its 4AM on a saturday morning. Sleep is knocking down my eyes. Am in my dear buddy's room and he's fast asleep while I surf away in his laptop. I have classes starting in a little more than 4 hours. Yes, its time I wrapped up my day. Ciao!

Psychotic Headbanging!

2010-09-07T00:41:00.000+05:30

I am in a very irritated frame of mind. Today, I bunked the lecture of one of the best professors we have. I dont know why I did it. But I knew I couldnt go for it. Its been a strangely funny day. Okay, not funny, its been weird today. Right from the start, things were not feeling right. I went for the first couple of classes, but I wasnt able to concentrate. For instance, I was in the math class, in the first bench and the prof. was talking about uniform convergence and differentiability (yes, I know! Real analysis.. SIGH!!). I was sitting there, wondering what a dog would get from this particular lecture! Yes, that was exactly what I was thinking about!! Donnot question the question that I was pondering on, thats besides the point. [:|]

I couldnt sit for classes beyond that point. I got back to the block and here I am sitting in Jain's room. Furiously tapping away at his keyboard. The title of the post is stupid considering the fact that my mind's getting Fray-ed now!! I need metal, I need Lamb of God and I need them NOW! And yet, am listening to Fray! Okay, am bragging. You get the drift.

What the fuck is the deal with life?? Why cant things be simple?? You know, for a brief period of time, I actually thought I had it all figured out. Though right now that claim seems horribly silly! Things couldnt be more complex. Emotions are stupid, but they dictate our lives. Its all about how you feel on a given day. You wake up in the morning and you realise that life's a mess! And it seems ridiculous to you considering how things seemed to be in place just the previous night. Where ever there's been a high, an inevitable low follows. *Switches to Lamb of God... And the head starts bangin, approvingly! Thank Jobs for iPod.. Hallelujah!*

Peace out!

Psychedelic Tribute To Life..

2010-09-06T12:52:00.001+05:30

In the depths of your heart,

You knew you needed it.

But you cant do what you used to,

For you have lost hope and faith.

What hope does to you,

Or what the lack of it does to you,

Its as strange as it is captivating,

If only you were more than human; interesting!

You have done it all,
You did your chores and duties,

You did them, promptly and spontaneously,

Never once feeling compelled to.

Not anymore, no longer shall you endure,

You are done doing anyone any favors.

You are done being good, gentle etc.

This is the end of it all.

Heaven forbid, you end up alone,

You, hold on tight even as a pariah,

Not for the hope of a better tomorrow,

But for the hope of reprisal from sorrow.

To be human, to be mortal,

To be open and vulnerable,

To be torn and broken,

To feel pain and to fail.

This is where the end is, dear friend!

Ciao folks!

PS - Thx to Google for the art!

Behind the marauding veil..

2010-09-06T00:56:00.000+05:30

A lot of you will be wondering what the hell my title means. Its completely random except that it somehow makes some sense to me. I was gonna let this one post go without a title. But just as I was about to start typing this came to my mind. So I figured, what the hell, I ll let it be. So, here we are for another verbal diarrhoea (or maybe quite not that bad)! But let me warn you, this is gonna be as absurd, long and as vague as only I can get. Brace yourself.

I havent exactly been writing anything for what has actually been about a month and what seems like an eternity. I have been dealing with another attack of the writer's block. And also the teeny tiny issue of the lack of an internet connection aided me to masquerade my need to blog. Yes, there is something like that within me. A thirst to write, but then that is followed by the disappointment of not knowing what to write about! I cant think of anything to write about. But even then I am typing away now. Because, I need to quench my thirst.

I took a walk around the college at 2 o clock in the morning. The college grounds look brilliant at night. The walk was an attempt to think and to analyse. At the end of the day, am just a very logical being. And I wanted to get a grip on how things were with me. The walk turned out to be a brilliant idea. It let me put things into the right perspective. Everyone needs these solitary walks at one point or the other. I was listening to Eminem the whole night. That new album, 'Recovery' is bloody awesome. If you are one of those Eminem fans who felt completely let down by the previous album, Relapse and thought Eminem was done doing his thing, prepare to get mind blasted! Rap fans, rejoice!

'Recovery' does exactly what it says, it recovers Eminem for you. 'Am not afraid' and 'Love the way you lie' are two of the awesome songs from the album. I remember listening to 'Am not afraid' towards the end of the summer. It was the first single to be released from the album. And it was uber awesomeness, the video too, not bad at all. 15 minutes later, I had the album in my pod and the rest was a bliss. Eminem is simply the greatest rapper ever. Yeah, yeah. I hear your mutterings, JayZ fans and all others. Guess what?? Go on clammering, guess who gives a fuck?? Not me!!

Another singer I have been into lately is John Mayer. His latest album "Battle Studies" being the subject of the case study. It has one of the awesomest songs I have ever heard in my life. "Heartbreak Warfare" is what I am talking about. It has couple of lines in its lyrics that has me completely astonished! Simple but powerful lines. "If you want more love, Why dont you say so??" I cant exactly pin point why that is so awesome. But its stuck to my mind, from the first time I heard it. There are a lotta good songs in this album. I daresay you ll miss out on something if you dont give this a shot.

My birthday, was a strangely fascinating affair this year. My friends back home were busy with stuff at their end and the ones here in Delhi were outta Delhi in lieu of being in their respective department trips. I chose not to go for the trip this year, as I dint exactly feel the need to spend three grand on something that dint even remotely excite me.

Back to the point, the birthday. So a relatively, sedate and lonesome day was on the cards for me. And I dint exactly mind that. My favorite pizza was gifted to me when the clock struck 12. Thus, the day began with food and that was to be the only food for the rest of the day. I ended up not eating much throughout the day. And I ended up sleeping a lot too. Classes were a bliss, we just had three. Oh and there was an interesting lecture on Scanning Tunneling Microscope by an IITK Prof who's also a Stephanian. Stephanians are everywhere. Its a fact of life!!

Facebook for some reason wasnt showing my bday. I tried tweaking the privacy settings. But nothing seemed to work. Three hours of sleep in the afternoon and I found myself in O's apartment with a couple of friends - N and S. Booze party, ppl!! I dint get really drunk, but it was still fun. Talk, talk and talk. Listen, listen and listen some more. Thats basically what I did. But it was a good night. I crashed around 4 in the morning. All in all, an enjoyable day.

The birthday also marked the fourth anniversary of the blog's existence. I cant believe that its actually been with me for such a long time now. Four years?? WOW! The number of posts per year have decreased over the years, especially since I have reached Delhi. Maybe if I had a laptop and an internet connection things might have been different. The strange fact is that I dont like to write down my thoughts. I love 'typing' them out. Its a really stupid preference issue. But as often as I have tried to get over it, I have failed miserably too. Its like a child crying incessantly about wanting to sleep in the same side of the bed, everytime. Logistically, it makes no difference. Unlike the child, am aware of that. And even then, I cant help myself. Does that make me worse than the child?? I suppose it does. At least the child has his innocence to hold onto while it pleads "non-guilty" of silliness. I love the blog. Its really grown into being an integral part of my life.

Thank you for your time. Ciao folks!!

Peeping back into blogosphere!

2010-09-05T02:42:00.002+05:30

The internet in College has been down and out almost right from the start of the academic year. We have the Common Wealth Games to thank for that. We have the CWG to thank for a lot of things like water shortages, power failures and bad state of the roads owing to refurbishing. The only good thing to have come outta it so far is an extra week of holiday in October and new and better furniture for the rooms in Res. There's a whole lotta concern about the CWG and how much of a success it is going to be. Promoting "Brand India", indeed! #sigh #triplesigh

My interest in photography has been revived, mainly thanks to N. I have been trying to get some good snaps. People around here have some of the best cams I have ever seen! Am posting some of the work here. Comments will be appreciated.

Confession: The last pic was an accident, but theres something very attractive about it.

That's it for this post. Until next time. Ciao folks!

The Vodka Confessions!

2010-08-08T13:29:00.000+05:30

I am yet again trying to over come the morbidity of my writer's block! I am once again, starting with the intent to write but I have no clear idea as to what am gonna write about. Shi*! Am stuck!!

I wish I had taken my pod along. IRC is not exactly the kinda place where you can just write stuff, at least it aint for me. Its too buzzy and noisy. Having said that its rather quite today considering the fact that its a sunday and all.

Yesterday was fun. First up, I have just 2 classes on saturdays. Thats a BIG deal for a sciencee in DU. Mondays and tuesdays the classes extend from 0840 to 1630!! And the rest of the days I have till lunch. So now you understand why its a big deal that we have just two on saturdays. Its virtually like having NO classes!! I can hear my artsee aka vella friends sneering at this. *sigh*

Going socialising?? Carry one of these along.

Oh!! Then there is the issue of the alcohol! I experimented with vodka a few days back and well, I got high. Thats the basic definition of alcohol for me - a substance which takes me to that loosened state of mind where I talk unhindered. The lesser amount I have to take in to get there, the better!! Its not that I want to be drunk enough to "act" stupid. I want to be in that state of mind, which lets me be at ease and more importantly, at peace.

Vodka is an excellent social lubricant. My socializing skills get an incredible boost when I am high. Or rather thats what my mind has led me to believe. And I dont really believe that drinking is a bad thing provided you dont get addicted. I dont see any fault in getting high once in a while. That said, am not endorsing any and all ways of getting high. Smoking and using weed are indeed really bad. The reason for that being highlighted by the fact that one tends to get a lot more easily addicted to them than to drinking.

So, the point at the end of the day is that I am not an alcoholic. I am just stating the fact that I dont mind getting drunk once in a while. Again, that is not to say that I am indeed going to get drunk once in a while. *damn, I wish I had a pic of me drinking OR a video of me talking in my drunken state*

And that reminds me of something. I dont understand why people are soo crazy about beer! Its a stupid drink. It tastes like shit (then again, most of the drinks do) AND it doesnt exactly give you a high. I guess, thats because of differing primary needs. My sole aim of drinking is to get high. Something which fails to do that is, well.. a waste of time. So, beer lovers, beat it!!

Okay, I have ran out of steam. I will now leave you with a quote that I just saw in FB. I found it to be brilliant!

"‎Most people can`t bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?" - Richard Dawkins

Ciao!

Home away from home..

2010-08-07T15:15:00.000+05:30

Its been over two weeks since I have reached back in Delhi. College life has kick started and its been brilliant. The fuchas for the most part have been good. Some awesome teachers are teaching us this year and its gonna be an excellent albeit challenging ride. And I have been having a lot of fun. Encouraging signs of a wonderful year ahead.

Okay, my impetus to write just met with a horrible death. Ciao!!

PS - I watched Inception after two weeks of scheming and planning!! 9/10. BRILLIANT movie.

Yesterday!

2010-07-20T21:39:00.000+05:30

This one probably needs a bit more work. I drafted it on my way to Delhi. I call it "Yesterday". Comments will be appreciated.

She was there yesterday.

I reasoned to myself,

She will be there today too.

Yes, she will be.

Was I crazy?? I dint know.

I still do not know.

I was desperate as I was hopeful.

She had to be there.

I told myself,

That I had tried everything.

That everything was okay.

But my voice betrayed my confidence.

As I reached where I saw her yesterday,

I remembered how it was yesterday,

How my heart beat, or dint beat,

When she looked at me with those mystic eyes.

If beauty could ever kill,

That was her and the victim, me.

I had to find her, again.

I looked around, for any sign.

Panic struck me.

She was no where to be seen.

"God, if you are there,

Why did you make yesterday go away??"

Ciao!!

B.I.K.E.S!

2010-07-15T16:11:00.001+05:30

One thing that I badly wanted to do this summer was to 'learn' to ride a bike. Okay, maybe I dint exactly have to 'learn' it. I knew the theory of it, how to shift the gears, when to hit the front brake and when not to etc. What I badly wanted was to get my hands on a bike so that I could finally fly. [Note to parents: Am kidding, of coz! Am always under the speed limit. ;) ]

My bike obsession began when I saw an ad of the Yamaha FZ-16. The thing just took my breath away. I wrote about that a long time back, here. My craze for biking reached dizzying heights when a certain girl told me how she just loved to be on a bike. When a guy is hooked, he just has no other choice but to do it. Man, take my word for it. I was desperate to learn bike-riding. And it dint help that all my close friends back home were landing themselves some awesome rides, the likes of which include Yamaha Fazers, Yamaha FZs and Honda Stunner. And now, even without the catalyzing girl, biking is at the top of my to-do list.

Atop Vivek's Stunner..

The funny thing about driving, biking and all things like that is the fact that all it takes for you to get going, is a bit of confidence. I got my confidence for biking after I took my buddy NGJ's archaic (no offense, mate) bike for a spin. I did reasonably well and that was it. I moved onto the FZ and then the Fazer both of which by the way offer superb riding comfort. So far I have only rode bikes from the 150cc segment. I would love to try out Pulsar 220 or an Apache 180 or maybe even an R1!!

I remember seeing this R1 during the year which I spent in CET. It was there for the auto expo organized by the Mech. Dept. There was this guy who was totally showing off his R1. He just went around the whole place making the beast purr slowly whilst making it roar every now and then. Gosh, that was something!!

As of now, biking is an awesome way for me to blow off steam. When am riding it takes my mind of things, of all the troubles. The only thing that bothers me is the dust that manages to get past the shades I wear. I love feeling the wind on my face and let's be honest here. I love going fast too. But am not reckless. Atleast, not yet. I dont have that kind of confidence in my riding just yet. But maybe quite soon, that annoying rider who just blew past you, just might be me!! Ciao!

-------------------------

Now Playing: Tear It Down by Prime Circle

To right the wrongs..

2010-07-13T09:30:00.010+05:30

It is with a cautious mix of optimism and desperation that I look up on the impending academic year. My first year in Delhi presented itself as a wonderful opportunity and eventually subsided to being a mixed bag of events. Everything looked up at least in the beginning, I was going away from home, escaping from a course that I dint give a rat's ass about to learn something that I had a real inclination towards. The only downside to it was that I had to leave my friends behind. But the juice was definitely worth the squeeze. I couldnt imagine how anything could possibly wrong.

The initiation period was certainly the toughest. I missed my friends horribly and I dint exactly have a support system established over there. Personal life was bit of a struggle. And this situation was happening to me, probably for the first time in my life. Life was challenging me and I had never felt so vulnerable. But yes, I am a survivor and eventually, I found some wonderful friends and then everything began to fall in place. I was happy and at peace.

Academics started off brilliantly as I was supremely systematic in the beginning. But then the system began to erode away, ever so slightly. It irked me every now and then, that I may be falling behind. But well, as so many of us do, I failed to heed my conscience. Its just amazing how you end up not doing what you are supposed to do, when you do know exactly what you are supposed to do. And now, am paying the price for my indifference.

Most of the events that transpired the past year is now grainy and blurry to me now. It seems like everything happened so quickly. I just stood by and watched as life unfolded in front of me. There were a lot of awesome moments and some devastating moments too. But I will be kidding myself if I were to complain about there being lows in my life.

All I can do at this juncture is to look forward to a better year. (this is the optimism bit I mentioned in the beginning) So, I am gonna right the wrongs of the bygone year. And by that I mean I will not be letting up on academics ever again. I am expected to excel, and believed to have the potential to do just that. I cannot let myself excuse from doing well. Not anymore. For all my vices, I cannot sleep well knowing that I let down the people who have so much faith in me.

Life is a magnificient piece of work, fierce and breathtaking. I really do understand why they say its the greatest teacher. I have learnt so much from the situations I have been. I have learnt as many things about myself as I have about the world in which I live. Life can be really cruel to you sometimes. But the important thing is to not despair and give in. I might be the world's biggest hypocrite because admittedly am not exactly one not to despair.

I have a confession to make. I am writing this post heartbroken and disappointed and hence in a shitty frame of mind. Forgive the author for not being sensible enough to stop blabbering. My blog has always been a vent for my feelings. I have debated a lot with my self whether that is a good thing or not. I couldnt decide and hence I have let it be.

Somethings seem like they are lost forever. But then again, sometimes all you can do is what you feel is best, for the greater good. What is often overlooked is the fact that the greater good is not necessarily what is good for you. Every night I go to sleep hoping not to be bothered with my misery the next day and every day I wake up realizing that I have to face it all over again. Life's shit. Ciao!!

Soulless!

2010-07-11T15:34:00.000+05:30

I am not sure what this is. You tell, me. Anyway, I call it "Soulless".

I walked through the street,

That nobody takes.

It was dark, it was spooky

But I couldnt care any less.

I walked and I walked

With no end in sight.

I felt someone pry on me,

I walked forward, faster

Not knowing who or where,

But sure of a sinister presence.

Man, beast or angel

I knew not nor cared.

For I walked mindlessly

Without a care in the world.

I walked and I walked

With no end in sight.

I heard a gruntle,

Or a mumble,

I cant be sure,

And I looked up.

There they were, fixed upon me,

Like the shine of blood-red ruby.

Two eyes, fiery and scary,

Piercing right through me.

"Who is there??"

I muttered, mustering courage.

I waited and waited for a reply,

There was to be none.

I walked and I walked,

With no end in sight.

And then, a ragged creature,

An ethereal apparition, I thought.

But it called out to me,

"Brother... Heed me now".

I stopped and I stared,

The creature went on,

"This is the street of the soulless.

Why are you here, brother??"

The voice was familiar.

Did I know the beast??

I focussed on the ruby eyes,

I was scared no more.

It struck me like a lightning,

The creature was 'me'.

I am him and he was me.

'We' who wander the street of the soulless.

My mind was clear,

Not a thought clouting me.

I walk and I walk,

With no end in sight.

Ciao!

Drown, baby! Drown!!

2010-07-07T15:10:00.003+05:30

You know what they say about being miserable, that it can be overcome by drowning yourself in a tv series (or two). I figured that this is another of of those crazy moronic theories that are being tweeted these days. So, as any miserable guy would naturally do, I decided to put the theory to the test.

I was already through with all my usual pick of series viz Bones, Heroes, Supernatural, House, Chuck, Smallville etc. These series are arguably best of the best. I was at loss and struggling to find an answer for the existential question "What's next?". And then, I remembered someone once mentioning 'Dexter' to me. Five solid minutes of Wiki-ing later, I was fast downloading it. Or at least as fast as BSNL would permit me to. The rest as they say are forever in the uTorrent logs. Now, moving onto the review.

'Dexter' is the story of a serial killer from the first person perspective. Thats the easiest way to put it. And yes, before I forget to mention, its not that he kills people randomly, he only preys on murderers. I had my reservations regarding the plot and the scope for character development. When I actually sat down and started to watch it, my doubts seem to be reaffirmed. And just when I thought the worst of the series, it began to kick into life. All my troubles were taken care of and here I am, four seasons later, testifying to the riveting nature of the series. For more details and synopsis go to Wiki.

Michael C Hall as Dexter Morgan is superb. He is just perfect for the role and is easily the most impressive of all the actors. The support actors are not bad. I should warn you though. At some points you do get a feeling that maybe the acting could be better. That said, its not too much of a fault coz I think am just being a hyper-sensitive critic. This is not a series for those with lofty moral standards and the weak hearted. Its a cold blooded, dark, satirical, psychotic, eery and brilliant drama. Be prepared for a handful of WTF moments and unexpected but superbly crafted twists.

Another major aspect worth mentioning is the music in Dexter. The background score is right up there at the top with some of the best ones ever made. I rate it second only to the bg-score of Gladiator . The music is haunting and some times just plain creepy. But it just adds to the entertainment aspect. (Tip - watch the series at night without any ambient noises).

Dexter has short seasons as compared to the other mainstream series. One season of Dexter is just 12 episodes and all the finales have been nerve wracking. Its a wonderful series to watch. An insight into the mind and thoughtlessness of a serial killer, its not something you get everyday. Its deeply engaging, trust me. If you are half as interested in the pathology of the human mind, you will cherish this viewing experience.

The latest season of Dexter (Season 4) ends with a bang. It left me in a totally stunned state of mind. I am very curious as to how you will react to it. The season finale was.. err.. a touch disturbing. I wont be a spoilsport and ruin the fun for you. Go watch it yourself and do lemme know how you felt.

Thats it for now. Ciao!!

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Now Playing : Boston by Augustana

Untitled

2010-07-01T12:55:00.000+05:30

The blog title never made as much sense as it does now. The blog's had a handful of titles. It started with Journal of the Prejudic3 Life and then moved on to A World Of Our Own and then a couple of I-dont-remember-anymore titles until finally I set it as the current one, Jargons of a Shredded Life. Over the past one year or so, the title stayed a constant. But I often wondered if it was time to change. But a mental block always prevented me from finding a suitable replacement which even drove me to inflammable levels of frustration.

But right now, it makes all the sense in the world. There cant possibly be a better title for my blog. The blog is resurfacing as a vent for me. I can feel it in me. Maybe thats cue for all the readers to run for their lives cuz I cannot guarentee any more of sanity or vanity in my upcoming posts. Ciao!!

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Now Playing: She Always Gets What She Wants by Prime Circle

Heaven help the fatefully frustrated!

2010-06-30T11:54:00.000+05:30

Do you know how it is to be frustrated?? Well, if you dont know, then I guess you are from some other planet and belong to a non-homo-sapien race. Frustration is most prbably the most frustrating human emotion to deal with. Let me try and define frustration for you in an Indian web-based context. Thanks to the speed of the net connection, you have been waiting anxiously for 10 minutes for a video (which you badly want to watch) to load in youtube. And just when its about to get done, Chrome crashes. Can you imagine how that would feel?? Or like when the internet connection fails when the file your downloading from Rapidshare is 90% done?? Well, thats frustration for you.

PS- In case you are wondering... No, this post wasnt instigated by a failed download or a failed video watch!!

Sleek!

2010-06-15T13:11:00.000+05:30

The other day. I watched "The Karate Kid" starring Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith. IMDB rates it @ 4.9/10 which I think is a bit harsh. I rate it a tad higher @ 6/10. The movie is a remake of the 1984 classic. For the most part, it remains faithful to the original. But this holds its own and does have its moments.

The story remains basically the same as the classic although the setting has been changed as it is happening in China. A young boy and his single mom moves owing to her job troubles. As he gets bullied for girl-issues, he is helped out by a seemingly insignificant person and the boy wins a martial arts competition. Linear plot with no real twists. Its all plain and simple. One thing which is surprising is that the movie is based on Kung-fu which really makes you question the title.

If you are the kinda person who feels that maybe violence can be good, like when used for purposes like revenge, retribution and so and so, you will love the final battle of the movie which is actually the final of the kung-fu tournament.. I couldnt withhold my appreciation (read "cry of elation) for some of Dre's blows. Maybe its just an adrenaline rush, or maybe its a male thing. You will like this movie if you like martial arts.

Jackie Chan puts in a very good acting performance. He has a different-ish role in this movie as compared to the usual roles. He remains funny but he's actually made to portray raw emotions. Its really refreshing to see Jackie in a role which is more emphasized on acting than on just kicking and throwing punches.

But the surprise package is Jaden Smith. He has got talent and Will Smith must be a very proud father. Jaden has handled both the fights and emotional scenes with brilliant ease. He is very impressive, indeed. And I feel its safe to say that we can expect a lot more from him in the future.

Another point of interest is the cinematography, which has been done really well. The scenes involving the Wall, the Forbidden City and the mountains were marvelous. The trip undertaken by Jackie and Jaden to the monastery on the mountain has impressively captured the scenic beauty of China.

In short, KK is fun, not for any fancy graphics, fancy camera techniques or even blow-your-mind-fancy fight scenes. The fight scenes are actually "just-good", Its not like the awesome fight scenes from the martial arts classics. But then again, here the fights mostly involves a 12 year old. If you are looking to kill some time and love martial arts, or if you love Jackie Chan, this is your movie!!

Finally, its a break!!

2010-06-13T08:05:00.001+05:30

Yes, it finally feels that my vacations have begun. For the first three and a half weeks of my vacations, I spent the time watching movies, catching up with the last season of my favorite series, travelling here and there, visiting grandparents. Basically doing all the mundane, but mandatory stuff associated with a long-awaited holiday. The true essence of coming home for a vacation is not achieved until I am with my friends. So lets face it, the first half of my holz has been a tad misearable.

When I reached home, they were busy with their exams and I dint want to disturb. Though am sure they wouldnt have minded. And when they were sort of having a break, I was away. The fact that I dint stay at home consecutively for more than 5 days during the first month of my break says a lot about the magnitude and frequency of my moving about. Thrissur, Kayamkulam, Ekm, Coimbatore etc were the destinations.

Ron about to "break"!

I started meeting up with my friends, all of them, in the last 2 days. And its been super awesome!! Man, it feels soo good to be with your friends. The distance that came between us, the amount of time that has passed by, nothing matters. I am blessed to have such amazing friends. Guys, you are the best!! I went pooling, badminton-ing, movie-ing, eat-out-ing and talk-ing. Its been a wonderful couple of days. Thank you, guys!! Love you all!! :)

Ciao!

A tribute to talent..

2010-05-26T23:33:00.000+05:30

I have a friend. His name is Appu Bhattathiri. He was my batchmate in STCS and he's a very talented film maker/enthusiast/buff/editor/photographer... you get the drift. He made a short film called "Irreversible" recently and it was selected for an international short film festival - Art By Chance. The film is very impressive. It becomes even more impressive considering the fact that he made it with modest tech. Heres a link to the film. Please watch it and also visit his blog. Recognise his talent and appreciate it so that one day we may have an Indian Tarantino or Kurasova. Peace, bro!! I wish you all the very best for your future.

5 Days...

2010-05-22T10:40:00.000+05:30

I have had a busy time since I reached home. And the easiest way to quantify what happened is as follows..

Monday: Reach home in the morning. Sleep/PC/Eat/Sleep. Oh and in between, take car for a spin. Also shave head. :P
Tuesday: Leave for Coimbatore in the morning. Reaching in the evening. Hotel: Sleep/Eat/Sleep.
Wednesday: Wander around in Coimb. Visit friends and family. Yaawn!!
Thursday: Reach the station to find that the train's "indefenitely late". WTF! Wait for 3 hours for the next train. Nail biting finish in Ekm and running to catch the Janshatabdi. Home @2300. PEACE!
Friday: Turn green seeing bro's iPod Touch!! Its AWESOME!! :O Die catching up with Heroes Season 4.

Comments awaited!! :D

Just realised that I have messed up the tenses in the above paragraph. Well, feeling too lazy to reconstruct the whole thing. Until the next post which I promise will be grammatically and politically correct. :P Ciao, ppl!!

Over and Out!!

2010-05-08T12:33:00.000+05:30

A third of my stint in Stephen's is done. Now I leave for home and beyond. Its celebration time. The next update will be from home. Start the fire works!! Ciao!!

Insights into the fucked up state of mind...

2010-05-03T14:23:00.004+05:30

The other day, I was reading through this collection of poems written by a friend of mine. They were brilliant!! They were written on topics pertaining to the soul and held deep meanings most of which I admit that I wasnt really able to garner. But it made me wonder about the poet's state of mind when he wrote these things. Most deeply philosophical, intricate intimacy and above all a fucked up state of mind is what produces such scribblings. The said poet corroborated my theory.

Basically the "incident" reminded me of the stuff I myself had written a litte more than an year ago. I was in a seriously fucked up state of mind. I saw it after a long time and I realised that its not all that bad. Of course, thats up for debate here. Am reposting those scribblings here. You tell me what you think of them.

I have two recognizable scribblings. Both were untitled when originally posted. I am giving them titles now.

The first one is perhaps the less lacklustre of the two. Here's it.

Scream for Hope

Wanting to scream at the top of the voice,

Wanting to declare war with the world,

Wanting to snip all thats in my mind.

I wander, toiling under the heat!

Looking for a way out;

Desperate for some hope;

Rampant, I run through life.

Vain as it might be, painful as it is.

I continue on my quest to get out.

I fight a lonely battle, to find the way out.

If only there was to be one!!!

The second one is something am rather proud of, actually. I am reminded of how my mind was when I read it. It has managed to capture that particular state of mind elegantly with all the chaotic beauty. Oh yes, I am proud of this one. I wish I could write something like this again. But then, I wince at the thought of enduring all that pain again. Would it really be worth it?? I only wonder to shudder in fear.

Misanthrope

The terrors of the past had just stopped hunting me.

And here they come again.

Unleashed from the strangleholds of my cryptic mind,

Thristy for my blood. Seething revenge.

With their bloodshot eyes fixed right upon me,

Burning holes right through me.

I have been a disappointment,

A failure, a loser, a jackass.

Wherein lies my rescue from this darkness??

Who dareth to lift me from this abyss??

Is this the apocalypse of the bedridden mind??

Treading across the field of troubles,

I fear what I see, I fear what I feel;

For they break my hope, and tire my soul!

I pray to a God that I dont believe in,

"Let me be wrong, for I care more"

"Let me be wrong, for I love more"

"Let me be wrong, for I cant bear more"

I look beyond the vicinity of my mentalities;

I ask myself "Am I a misanthrope, yet??"

There is no point in going back to the original posts to try and figure out what am talking about in these poems. Whatever was really bothering has never come to the fore in the blog. The blog was merely a vent for my emotions but never a window to pour the reasons for those.

Comments will be really appreciated for this post. Be frank, be brave, live on!! Ciao, people!!

Not quite poetic...

2010-05-01T13:00:00.004+05:30

Are you one of those who have a "thing" against proper poetry?? Have you ever found yourself unable to find the much talked about beauty in them?? Have you wondered what is it that Tennyson, Keats, Neruda and Frost et al did?? Yes, their command over the language is stupendous. The way in which they spin their imagination to weave a jaw dropping sequence of words, one has to admit is... genius. But have you ever found yourself untouched by these poems?? Have you not been interested beyond the fact that these are great literary feats?? Have they failed to warm your heart?? Refresh your soul?? That be the case, my friend, this is the post for you.

Ever since I was a child I have always had this aversity towards poems. Be it in malayalam or in English. I remember my father trying to get me to read poems. He used to insist. And I rebutted telling him that I felt nothing reading them. I told him that I like prose, not poems. I just couldnt connect with poems and the ideas and images imbibed within them. During my school years, I had to study a ton of poems and not even one have left an impression. How do I know?? Because of the simple fact that I cant recall even one of those poems.

You ask me what I mean by "proper" poetry?? I mean the classical style drenched with all sorts of literary tools. You know, the ones with complicated names and the things which are incredibly hard to come up with. I know very little about these things. So your better off taking the question to the man!! Wiki ie. Here's a random example of what I mean by "proper" poem. My point of view can be easily thrashed by a true literary lover, but hey its just a personal view of things!! Am not trying to take anything away from "poems". If they appeal to you, good for you.

What really prompted this post is a friend of mine sending me a particular poem. This said poem had me in raptures. For a change, the poem was delightfully wonderful!! I was sort of addicted to it. Maybe it was because am a hopeless romantic. Nevertheless, the point is that this poem touched me. And it had me thinking what made me like this poem so much. No, thats an understatement, I loved this poem. Here's a stanza from it.

What matters is that

Our night seems longer

Than autumn.

She sleeps with her eyes half open,

So I watch her retinas

Go west, east, left, right.

Then roll, dip, lift, lounge.

What matters is that

I’m the only one who

Watches her sleeping eyes.

No one else knows the secret

Of how her eyes stay half open

When she sleeps.

The poem is 'What Matters' by a little known poet of the name, Joseph Silver. I dont think this poem is one which can be called as a "proper" poem. Its not one riddled with too many literary devices. It has a very uncomplicated structure and a simpleton way of creating the imagery. And as I mentioned earlier, it appeals immensely to the romantic bit in you.

I was incredibly taken aback by the way in which I was taken in by the poem. Its not like it was a song. I have been deeply taken in by songs. Songs make sense to me. They tell me things, they make me feel things, they calm me down, they inspire me. All these things which poems are also supposed to do. But I had to wait around for this piece from Joseph Silver to take me there. Okay, I have lost my chain of thoughts and I dont know why I started typing this post. Am too lazy to scroll back up and read. Maybe its a sign that I ought to try and study a bit of Chemistry. Yuck!!

Until later!! Ciao, people!!

PS- I reach home in 10 days!! :)

Two more to go!! And one more disconnected post for you...

2010-04-29T12:45:00.001+05:30

Is it really happening?? I think am gaining excitement about going home with each passing day. Maybe being away for more than half a year does get to a guy, even to me!! Maybe I am a bit supercilious (learnt that word while reading this hilarious post by Viv). I just came out of the exam hall after writing what was my 5th university exam. And that means I have just two exams left.

In 9 days I leave for home. There is something unmistakably exciting about this trip. Okay, now even I am tired of writing the same thing over and over again. There is a limit to human redundancy, after all. I shall be back with a "good-for-something" post soon. Ciao!!

Theen aur...

2010-04-23T12:45:00.001+05:30

And I have just three more exams to go. The last one to get over was Maths, which deals with a horrendous topic called the "Real Analysis". I would hate math if it wasnt for the calculus and algebra. Why cant the ones who set the syllabus just leave the so called "pure" maths for the Mathematicians. I dont see how real analysis can help me in my quest to be a physicist. Ah, let me not get irritated about that anymore. I have already done the fair share of it.

Deccan has finally stumbled in the IPL and they have not made it into the semis. Hugely irritating on a disappointing day which simply failed to end on a high. Well, I hoped for a good end rather. But it was not to be. What's worse was that even sleep dint quite have the remedy to my problems. Ah... A long ugly night ensued, the details of which stay with me.

Moving onto cheerier topics. Shashi "I-Tweet-a-LOT" Tharoor was FINALLY shown the door. IPL is hit with all kinds of controversies, monetary and otherwise. Blah!! Am not in the mood to write more about that.
Ciao, people!!

And we have four to go!!

2010-04-19T14:01:00.001+05:30

Yes, its another cricket dominated post.

The third of my univ. exam is over and it was the toughest paper in the first year. Am really glad am done with it. As fate would have it, all three of the exams so far have been preceeded by a Deccan match in the previous night. And on all three occasions DC rose triumphant. Yesterday's match over Delhi was especially stunning considering that it was in all effect a quarterfinal. Dhoni had hammered Punjab to take Chennai into their third consecutive semifinal entry in as many IPLs. CSK is the only team to have entered the semis on all the three seasons, making them the most consistent.

Audacity never felt this awesome!!

Though I initially started off supporting Punjab as I wanted Deccan to have an easy ride into the semis, watching Dhoni take CSK to an awesome win was just a brilliant experience. I ended up cheering for Dhoni by the end of the match. That mammoth six which all but sealed the match was just a signature of Dhoni's finishing skills. That guy is something, people!!! [:O]

Now onto the semis and to the finals. Sadly for me, DC takes on CSK. DC should win but I would have loved if they were to take on someone else in the Semis. I would have preferred CSK and DC in the finals. But since thats not happening, I would like Mumbai and DC in the finals. Sachin scores a century and DC should still walkaway with the trophy. Now THAT would be a perfect final. But something in me tells me that this is Mumbai's year! Only time will tell, as the 25th shall not fail to pass!!

Adios, amigos!!

Ah.. 2 down.. Five to go!!

2010-04-14T13:14:00.000+05:30

So, I am back. The second exam just got over and am breathing free for another 5 days. Yesterday night was simply superb. I stayed up studying till about 4 largely owing to the incredible victory that Deccan pulled off against B'lore. Man, it was fucking incredible. The capacity for sport to lift your spirit can never be overlooked. The win gave me such a high that I could sit through fr the whole night. I dint feel even a bit sleepy. In the end I had to force myself to get some sleep.

Life is peaceful for the next few days. University exams are really chilled out. They give you enough breathing space in between the exams. You dont really feel the pressure. Well, that can have a negative bearing too. But I like to think that its more positive than otherwise.

Anyway, enough disconnected rambling for now. Ciao!!

One down... SIX to go! Sigh!!

2010-04-10T16:30:00.000+05:30

Here I am, after the first of my univs. After what was an easy exam that I did okay for, I found myself being incredibly lazy. I sat up for the most of the night unable to do anything, not even to sleep. Ugly signs if you are in the middle of your university exams. I finally slept off at some point. I woke up late in the morning and found to my surprise that the pod had ran outta charge. But of course, it did make sense. The pod's been on overdrive the last couple of days.

I had forgotten how handy it is to listen to music while doing math. It really does help me a lot as far as sharpening my mathematical skills are concerned. During my +2 years, I used to discuss with my friends the pros of being allowed to use MP3 players for the exams (hypothetically, of course). Rap and hip-hop are the best sort of music to listen to while math has to take forefront of your brain activities.

Today's IPL fixture is very interesting. After Deccan's victory over Delhi, the rush for the semi spots a tantalising affair. There's no more room for errors with as many as 5 teams vying for two semi berths. Two crucial matches take place today. Ah well.. Let me not get into cricket. Am off. Catch ya later! Ciao!!

Two days to go until the dance begin!

2010-04-06T17:36:00.000+05:30

Two days to go before the Univs. begin, I sit here in the IRC starin' into the monitor feeling pleasantly confident. Exams kick off on the 9th with MP*. Then on its hectic redefined until finally almost a month afterwards on May 6th, the curtain falls for my first year in Delhi.

IPL continues to have a say in my mind, although to a much lesser extent. Its no longer a time hogging distraction, but it exists. Yesterday, I found myself running to the JCR on hearing that Warney was spinning a web of tricks around hapless Deccan batsmen. It was a match up between two of my favorite teams: DC v/s RR. I wanted DC to win. I saw Watson's blitz and Yousuf Pathan's fall in the first innings. I saw Gilly smack his trademark sixes. Felt disheartened when he fell yet again in the 30s. I got back to the room when it seemed that DC should comfortably win. But that was before Warney came onto bowl.

40, really?? Genius is ageless!!

I had asked a friend of mine to text me if anything interesting was brewing. "Warne is onto something!!" was the text I got. I got to JCR and I saw a highly animated and pumped up Warne. The amount of passion he brings on the field for his team is just wonderful. He was bowling really well. He was leading the team so brilliantly. One couldnt help but see the semblences of the Champion team from the first team. Ominous for Deccan, but I thought they should still make it. Especially going into the final over with just 6 needed and Sharma on strike. Trivedi yet again bowled a super-awesome-brilliant-final-over and the Royals kept their unbelievable record intact (of never having lost a match after scoring 150+).

I have a lot of plans for the summer. I guess its a bit too premature to elaborate on that. I really look forward to being home. Until next time, ciao guys!!

*Mathematical Physics

Mindless Buffering...

2010-04-02T18:08:00.000+05:30

At the moment, I have myself lost in the video universe of youtube. I watched a couple of Jeff Dunham videos. He's a brilliant ventriloquist. Head to youtube and search for Jeff Dunham. They are worth watching.

Right now am watching videos of the God Of War franchise. Its possibly one of the best action games ever made. Sadly, I have had the pleasure of playing it just once. Oh, the woes of not owning a PS2. Not being able to play it has naturally increased my craving for it. There's something innatively appealing about action games. The violence and gore is never as repulsive as it is popularly perceived to be.

The story of the GoW trilogy is superb. It keeps you engaged and deeply immersed in the fascinating world of the Greek mythology. The Gods, Titans and the Mortals make for a really interesting time. And if at all one was to judge the humongous success of the franchise it will become obvious that the game has thrived. The gameplay is addictive and trust me that is a huge understatement. Blah!! To feel it, you have to watch the videos and see the pictures. Man, its just mouthwatering!!

Kratos!! :O

Am watching a compilation of videos that portray the storyline of the series. Until later, ciao guys!!

Tweaking..

2010-04-01T15:01:00.000+05:30

I got bored studying and decided that I would try out a bit of the Blogger-in-Draft features. Here's what I have after a few minutes spent with the template designer. Comments will be appreciated. Now, to hopefully get back to studies. Ciao!!

This almost feels "alien"!!

2010-03-31T14:22:00.000+05:30

I cannot believe how long it has been since I last came to blog. There hasnt really been a dearth of stuff to write about. No, it was never a deficiency or scarcity of things to write about that kept me from blogging. As is usual, I cant pin point what exactly is the reason behind it. I know that I want to continue writing. I like writing down my thoughts. I like to jot down a few lines on whats happening in my life and around it. But even then I cant actually do that. With the university exams right around the corner, I am in a position to force myself not to blog. I have enough distractions as it is.

IPL is the biggest culprit. I began the season supporting Deccan and Chennai. Deccan has done OK so far, but Chennai has flopped big time after what was a sound start. Rajasthan whom I wasnt supporting, have come back into contention and I find the old 'Halla bol!' feeling rising again. It feels like the first season all over again!! Its really wonderful to see RR perform well. Especially since they are the underdogs devoid of big names.

Sachin has been awesome!! Man theres just no limits to what that guy can do!! "God" is the easiest way to describe him in a word. Mumbai is finally living upto their potential and seems poised to go all the way this year. But I want RR or DC to stomp their way onto victory. That would be really cool. KXIP has been getting skewered in this edition. And that just adds to my entertainment quotient, considering the fact that I hate the team.

That reminds me of an interesting point. IPL brings to the JCR a lot of shouts and cries and a lot of noise. And it also brings out the evident split up between South Indians and North Indians. A good percentage of Northies have this bias against the South Indian teams. I fail to see any such emotions amonst the Southies. If that is because I am blinded by the fact that I am a southie myself, am not sure. Prior to this IPL induced JCR scenario I had not really experienced this rift other than through hearsay and reading. I dont understand why there should be this rift between us. After all, we are all Indians. It doesnt really matter from which part. Ok, am not bothering to go further more in that line of thought. We all have enough patriotic talks on India being united in diversity. Sadly, its almost a cliche now.

The next edition of IPL should prove to be quite a lot more interesting. Especially since auctions will be held all over again and also because of the addition of the two new franchisees. Kochi, my birthplace has got a team. Now, Keralites will finally have a team to call our own and staunchly support. But it would all be marred badly should Santhakumaran Sreesanth aka Appam Chuthiya (thx to the Fake IPL Player for that nick) be in the team. OMG!! He could even be made the captain!!! :O That would be a very bad business decision on the part of the team owners cuz it is sure to make the team lose a lot of home support. Sreesanth probably tops the list of mals hated most by mals. That guy just won't learn!!

Well, I must stop now. I have a lot to study. Sigh!! Until next time!! Ciao!!

A plethora of piled-up stuff!!

2010-03-05T17:46:00.000+05:30

I find myself in a jolly good mood to write. And there's no real dearth of things to talk about. I just got back from the hospital. No, before you jump into any conclusions, I should make it clear that I went there not for any reason pertaining to my health. I went responding to an emergency need for blood. Well, so I get there and then they rejected me since I had an anti-rabis shot yesterday. Disappointment!! There was a spark of excitement that hit me when I saw the relief of the patient upon getting a donor. Ah, well.. let's move on.

About the anti-rabis shots. A dog was kind enough to scratch me with its teeth. Three laboring hospital visits later, here I sit with the bloody threat of claustrophobia alleviated. Amen to that!! The incident was one of the randomest things ever!! The dog simply ran at me barking viciously and lunged at me. A few karate kicks later, I walked a away seemingly unscathed. On my way back to college, I noticed the tiny drops of blood in my hand. The rest is history - a midnight visit to the hospital, followed by another one the following morning and then on the third day and the seventh day. Sigh!!

Hospital visits especially the govt. hospitals can really be a pain in the a**. But then it also opens the door for you to see some of the graver realities of life. The plight of the people, the sick ones with their vain expression and hopeful eyes. Hospitals are essentially moody places. It kinda zaps your energy just to be there. The atmosphere can be described as anything from disturbing to irritating to eye-opening. It also makes one wonder, how vital the role of the doctors and the nurses are. And something else I noticed (which is almost a common knowledge once you think about it) hospitals are an administrative nightmare. Enough of that.

The Model United Nations (MUN) organised by the Planning Forum in the college was fun. Being a member of the Planning Forum, I was working for it. I had to run here and there, pick up stuff, get water places. MUN would be a fun thing to attend, if you are the kind of person with the person with the temperament and patience attuned for that sort of a deal. MUN got me wearing formals for the first time ever. Yup, I suited up. The feeling is horrible, its terribly uncomfortable. Jeans and tees over formals any day.

On the first of March, I celebrated Holi for the first time in my life and it was a hell lot of fun. There was a pool of mud, lots of colors and bhang (non-alcoholic source of "high")!! But for some reason, the bhang failed and I dint get high. :|

And yes, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar!! By God, he is a God!!! The guy is just mindblowing. First ever double century in an ODI, a feat which was almost deemed impossible. Its no secret that am not a fan of the Indian cricket team. But its an unassailable feeling which takes you over when you see Sachin play. Somebody sent me this message "If you have a sin to commit, do it when Sachin is batting, for it will go unnoticed coz even God will be busy watching him play". I was lucky enough to witness the moment when Sachin made it. The JCR erupted as Sachin stole that single past point. OMG!! Imagine a billion people holding on to something so dear to them even though its nothing personal to them. Thats the beauty of sport, it touches you. Its almost like love, you know you have it and you just go with the flow.

Also, something I thought would never happen happened. I went without listening to music for about a week. I dont know how that happened, I dint think it was possible. It was almost as if the pod dint exist and music completely off the radar. And then, I picked it up yesterday and the feeling was back. Music was back in the system. I had missed it badly, I just dint know it. Human mind continues to fascinate me. Just when you think you have it all figured out, it comes up with something bizarre that knocks you down. Would we ever be able to understand ourselves?? True and complete comprehension of the human mind has to be one of the biggest challenge faced by anyone who wants to know anything.

Thats it from me for now. Ciao, people!!

Blogging Drought!

2010-02-20T20:35:00.000+05:30

Not exactly sure what's wrong. Its a bad season for blogging for me. Its not for want of topics. Life is happening enough. Still thinking a lot about life and I could write on it. But I don't feel like it. This is a post I am forcing myself to write. Something seems to be missing. I cant figure out what. :| And its bugging me. Damn it!! Its very frustrating. I seek inspiration. Blah!! I have ran outta patience to try and write this. Ciao!!!!!!!

A lot..

2010-02-14T10:57:00.000+05:30

Its been over a month since my last post. That, I care about. Every day I decide to blog, something or the other would come up and I had to postpone it. And here I am now, on a sunday morning right after my breakfast. A lotta stuff has happened in this gap. Let me see if I can jot them down.

The Jan Tests happened. Nothing much to write about. I survive!!
My old mobile drowned to a horrible death. The details of the incident shall not be made public. You could try filing an RTI though.
I got my new phone, Samsung Corby. Super sexy & damn cool!!

Aussies routed the Pakistanis. Muhahaha!! 2-0 in Tests and 5-0 in ODIs.
SA beat the shit outta India in the first Test. So much for the self-proclaimed invincibles.
Some travel plans got derailed to my great disappointment.
Great food still kept coming and the money kept flowing. :P
Still in love with the Maggi-Anda from the Dhaba.
Winter's having its last days.
Sleeping is as always a pleasure. But even more so these days. OMG! So tough to wake up!! Missed breakfast on more than one occasion!
Discovered that the camera in the mob is brilliant for daylight photos but ultra-shitty for night time.

That's it from me for the moment. Adios, amigos!!

Hiatus, Darkness and More...

2010-01-22T12:58:00.000+05:30

Hell, it sure does feel good to see the 'Create Post' page of Blogger. I am back here after a hiatus that lasted two week. I was forced to jump off the blogosphere as I had the pressing issue of the Jan-Tests to deal with. And with that finally off of my shoulders, once again things return back to the way it was. Its definitely a welcome change albeit the thoughts of labs offers for a shock. Classes restarted today, but thankfully it was a day when we had classes only in the morning. Thank God!!

The Jan Tests were entertaining. One or two of the papers turned out to less than ideal. But ya, you deal with what you do. The exams were actually the least interesting part of the Jan Tests. Jan Tests for me are not concerning just the exams. For me, it is a period of time which engulfs one month of my life, starting latter part of December and extending up to the first half of January.

Sleeping in this particular period of time is one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever had. Its just brilliant. And the weather, few things have fascinated me as much as the Delhi winter. The mist, the fog and feeling of being invisible is just brilliant. I will let the pictures speak for themselves!!

I find myself unable to finish this post at the moment. And that is happening for the 3rd time with this post. I think I will let myself publish this one at this point albeit being a nothing post. Somtimes, you just got to hate the IRC. Blah!!

Ciao, people!!

Somethings, sometimes...

2010-01-06T12:25:00.000+05:30

Note : This is a cricket maniac's post. Dont bother reading if you dont love the sport.

Man!! There are somethings which you just cant help but, do!! I have my all important, not to forget "scary" Jan tests lined up. Its gonna hit me a day from now and yet, at the moment am hooked the to the PC in the library internet centre. Why?? Coz am checking the live score of the 2nd Test between Aussies and Pakistan in Sydney.

Aussies seem to be headed for an amazing victory at the SCG. Pakistan had dominated the first 3 days of the match. They had the Aussies choking with their backs against the wall. But on the fourth day, Aussies have gave Pak one big thwack and boy, Aussies can win from virtually any position.

When I started following the score in Cricinfo Aussies needed 4 more wickets with Pak needing 50 more runs to win. And I was instantly hooked, as I checked the rest of the score card. Aussies were smelling victory. I considered the possibility of going to watch the match in JCR, but then decided against it in favor of the academics. I was getting that done on the side. [;P] But it would have been immensely pleasureable to see the Aussies on the prowl for victory. Whenever Aussies sense victory there's an agility in their movements, in the way they field. You can feel the aggressiveness in the air. Its just wonderful.

Though Hussey was the key..

Take nothing away from Siddle for his resilience.

Michael Hussey was the star performer for Australia. The 123 run partnership between him and Peter Siddle for the 9th wicket gave Aussies a lead of 175 runs. It gave them a sliver of a chance and they held onto that. Am super-psyched as I write this, Aussies just won the match by 36 runs, bundling out the Pak resistance for 139 runs. [=)]

There have not been many better at batting with the tailenders than Hussey. Its not the first time that Hussey's made an awesome contribution by batting with the tailenders. Also Hussey's gutsy 134* is the first Aussie century this summer. Watson and Katich had been getting to the 90s but failing to go past three figures. 18 fifties were made before this Hussey century. Well, its as they say, better late than never.

The Aussie bowling in the 2nd Innings was splendid. They really troubled the Pak batsmen on a pitch which was becoming increasingly difficult to bat on. And the Aussie fielding was top notch as ever. The catches were held and runs were strifled.

It must be heartwrenching for the Pakistan team and its fans to accept this defeat. To lose a match after dominating more than 75% of the match. Thats just sad. But heck, I cant say I am too moved by that. The better team has prevailed and am loving it. [:D]

Here's how the scores read:

Aus 1st Innings : 127 All Out

Pak 1st Innings : 333 All Out

Aus 2nd Innings : 381 All Out

Pak 2nd Innings : 139 All Out

Result : Aus win by 36 runs.

Okay, now that I have basked in the Aussie victory glory and gloated about it. Its time I headed back to my studies. Ciao, people!!

The last of 2009!!

2009-12-31T12:34:00.050+05:30

I thought I would actually NOT write an year end post for 2009. Instead I figured, I'd have a 'few-liner' post. Something like "Happy new year, y'all. Have fun. Ciao!!". But that would have been so lame and it would have been terribly unfair on 2009. 2009 is probably the most eventful year of my life. It was shitty and it was brilliant. It made me hate life and made me love it more than ever. 2009 was intrinsically and in every sense of the word 'life changing'.

The year did not begin well for me. personal life was initially screwed up and in a hell hole. Academics couldnt have possibly been more disinteresting. I dint study anything for I dint see it to be worth my while and yet, I managed to survive. Ha!! Luck dint desert me all that much. And luckily for me everything would get better as time went by.

My CET life will remain one of the best times of my life and 2009 was hallmarked by that period. Even when I was in the shittiest of mental states, I had the college and my 'CET Gang'. I am forever indebted to them for keeping me in check. We had a ton of fun. I dont think it will be an overstatement when I say that life was never more fun than it was during those days. Those seven hours I would spend at CET would take my mind off things and let me just be. Kaimu, DV, Dons, Anan, Sanku, Gopu, Theju - you guys were AWESOME!! Not to discount my other buddies, Ron, Kish and the TIME gang. You were all there for me and am thankful. And I miss you all like hell!! :|

The Guys!! :)

The time of the university exams in CET proved to be very interesting as I had already made the decision to drop Engg and take up Phy in Delhi. I studied enough to make sure that I would survive (in the event that I should not make it into Stephen's, I couldnt go back to a course with a heck lot of supplies. So, I made it into Stephen's and the rest as they say, is history.

Home!

The Dilli Life was tough in the beginning, and well, I dint expect it to be. Well, the usual deal of being in a new place, new people, no friends, new course etc etc was not supposed to affect me. But then it did. And I realised just how dependent I was on my friends. Take it from me, friends make life better. And then, it did begin to get better - I found friends here.

Saranya Chechi, Anna, Anita, Aashik et al. have made a huge impact in my life here. I dont have a gang of friends like I had back home. But in all earnestness, thats irrelevent. And old friendships have sustained, strengthened. Delhi has given me a new home. MukhWest is homeland and W-21 is my den. I am happy here. Content to be me and do my part of things.

Music played a big part as ever. The procurement of my iPod is probably the biggest materialistic achievement of this year. :) Am absolutely in love with the Pod (Paattupetty is no longer what I call it), its just brilliant. People in Stephen's probably will recognise me if you ask them about the Resi who's seen with his earphones on virtually all the time. Movies probably has taken a back seat. The lack of an unlimited net connection and my invisible laptop make something of a roadblock. [:P] Cricket still is an addiction. 2009 marked a decade of Aussie fandom for me. I have been a faithful, ardent Aussie supporter since the '99 World Cup in England. I have endured the pain of the Ashes loss in '05 and savored the two WC victories and the Champions Trophy victories. Go Aussies!!

There has been new experiences for me this year. Like thrill of leading an independent life away from home. Well, that's as independent as I can get given that I am still financially dependent on my parents. [:P] I tried fagging and well, found that to be a stupid thing. I got drunk [not completely sloshed up] and found that to be a good experience. Drinking does let you be at ease and I actually talked non-stop for a long time (according to eye witnesses). [:D] I am learning Hindi (something which I thought I would never do) and I am growing really fond of table tennis. It provides for huge amounts of fun.

Inevitably at the time of new year, you are bound to think of New Year Resolutions. Well, I dont have any extravagant resolutions. I have some very practical stuff which I would love to be made practical. In fact, as I go through my list, I realise its actually really simple and maybe a touch lame too. But hey, who cares!? First thing I wanna do is to see the Jan Tests through. And then, I wanna start reading again, especially news papers. And to be more organised in studies.

One other thing I wanted to talk about was the way the blog has changed, something regarding my blogging pattern. In the first year since its creation, the blog had almost one post per day. But the posts were rather short and of idiotic content (on hind sight). In 2006 (sept onwards) I had 171 posts and in 2007 I had 333 posts. But by 2008, the number of posts lessened dramatically to less than half of what it was, to 147. And in 2009, its further fell to 108. What am wondering is whether the content is actually getting better or not. I often wonder if the quality of posts is inversely related to the total no. of posts I make that year. Comments on this will be appreciated, especially if you have followed my blog for some time now.

Have I changed during this past year?? I must have. I love change, thats a fact. But I dont think I have radically altered from myself. How much can I really quantify and understand how much "I" have changed?? I think thats something am better off leaving to those around me to see and feel for themselves. But here's what I do know, "The ideals are the same. The morals are the same. The focus remains undeterred and the final destination is unmorphed as ever. The core remains!!"

At the end of it all, after all the analysis and ridiculing, I look at the mirror of life and I find myself smiling for life is peaceful for me as on 31st December, 2009. And now, I look at the dawn of 2010 and I see opportunities and challenges headed my way and once again, am smiling.

"The Rapist" look which I sported in the 2nd term! [:P]

Have a wonderful year, people!! Ciao!!

X'mas, sleep etc etc...

2009-12-27T20:35:00.001+05:30

Christmas was the day before yesterday. I dont know if it was any more special than all the others days am having here. It was in all earnestness, just another day. Woke up around 830, had breakfast and since Library was closed, came back to the room and slept till lunch time. Its so easy to sleep during winter; all I have to do is lie down!! And it feels extra special with all the cold. Its a wonderful thing to just sleep.

After lunch, it came to the point that I could no longer stay in the college. I had to get out. So me and Jijo decided to go and roam around a bit. We went to Saket. Heck, that turned out to be a looong journey by bus. But I hoped it would be worth it when I finally get there. I had heard of the malls and all. But all that awaited me was more disappointment as I got bored in like 15 minutes of entering the Select City Walk mall. Its a big mall with lots of shops, a lot of glitz and all that. But it was very boring. I found these three golden rules for visiting malls:

Go as a big gang of friends not as groups of 2s or 3s. OR,
Go with LOADS of cash to spend. OR,
Go with a girl, preferably your GF. [:P]

After the hangout and boredom at the mall, we headed to INA and helped ourselves to Beef and porotta. Oh my god!! Somethings are just super delicious. That made my X'mas.

That aside, the other news is that Airtel has come out with an unlimited SMS plan. And that includes national SMS as well. Its a BRILLIANT offer and am totally glad that Airtel is following suit. Reliance was the first to come out with such a plan. And I was seriously considering shifting to Reliance. But Airtel has come through and ya, it rocks!!!

Thats it for now. Happy new year, y'all!! Ciao!!

College as seen through Vishvnan's lens...

2009-12-23T21:06:00.000+05:30

I have been wanting to do this post for sometime now. Its a photo feature of the college. The pictures have been taken by a friend of mine, Vishvanath.He's a very talented photographer (as is obvious) armed with an omg-wtf-thats-an-awesome camera!! Take a look, guys.

SSC in all its ethereal glory!!

Main corr!

No comments!!

Main gate!!

Mess lawns during the Alumni Reuninon!

Ciao, people!!

Curtains, Second Term!!

2009-12-22T21:12:00.000+05:30

As I write this, my first second term at Stephen's have come to a close. Ofiicially, we have classes scheduled for one more day. But owing to certain traditional constraints like teachers missing and students bunking classes wont be happening. And as all might be starting to realise, the year end is also upon us. Is it the time for looking back at the year?? Or more closely, the second term?? I think so.

Stephen's is Home!

'Friendships found, academics sustained and attendance gained' - that was second term for me. I have settled well into the fabrics of the (mythical) Stephania. Winter came and it was wonderful. Something which I have always wanted to experience and its an experience am going to cherish for a long time to come.

The temperature drops everyday and its really nice. When people see me being gleeful about the cold, they seem to have this smug expression. They tell me that I will not be feeling the same way for much longer. I dont know, they have been telling me that since October. Call it my arrogance, but I think that am not too bothered by cold. So far the temperature has dropped as low as 7.4 degrees.

Almost all the people I know have left the college for home. A timetable has been prepared and serious studies start from tomorrow onwards. If I stick to the time table, I should be okay. All the hoopla about the Jan Tests brings me back memories of the days of the XIIth Boards. Ah, school days were fun!! They really were...

That's it from me for now. I ll try and blog every now and then. I am not sure if I ll manage another one before X'mas (simply coz I dont have anything to say). So, merry X'mas, people!! Have a great time!!

Ciao!!

The pursuit for logic!!

2009-12-20T16:06:00.000+05:30

There are these times in your life when you absolutely hate yourself. This is the time when the absolute worst of you is exposed. All of us must have been in such situations in life. I have had an overdose of them in the past week. Three days on the trot, I fucked up. Insensitivity is my middle name. and I try and find logic whenever its not needed. :| There is a fundamental fact about life that I just cannot seem to get a grip of. Somethings in life just dont have any logic.

Sometimes logic's just that fucked up!

Logic, as most of the other things I find in life, is an extremely funny thing. It can be really good and it can be as bad as a lil' kid wailing when you are trying to catch some sleep. It can really fuck you up. As much as I try to over come my thirst of logic, it just seems to grow more and more on me. An incessant hunger for logic is always within me. Its as though its hardwired in my system. Let me see if I can explain a bit more.

Why would you do that??

Why is that so??
How can that happen??
But then.... ??

This is a sample set of questions that run through my logic-driven mind. When people describe events to me, I automatically start trying to find logic in all the minute things involved in the said incident. More often than not, I end up killing the fun for the narrator and the other listeners (if any). The point is that sometimes I forget what is more important and miss the point of the conversation. I tend to get too involved in my personal battle for the logic and reason.

The trouble arises when I try to apply logic to human behavior. There is no logic to human behavior. I dont have to look farther than myself to know that. And yet, it doesnt stop me from trying. But sometimes, it scares me. My pursuit for logic though mostly harmless, is at times causing me to act indifferently in situations which should ideally be handled delicately and with care. Wont it reach a point when people close to me realise that am virtually incapable of changing it. Wont there come a point when it goes from a cute feature of my personality to a downright replusive one?!

Am not a megalomaniac, nor am I a narcissist. As much as I like being myself and behind all the facade of "Am unique and proud of it" cries, theres a part of me which hates myself. I loathe myself - atleast the selfish, insensitive and arrogant avatar of mine.

Ciao, people!!

Friggin' hilarious!!

2009-12-20T13:46:00.001+05:30

This is something I stumbled across in the internet. Its got me LOL-ing and ROFL-ing. I dont know, if it will have the same appeal to all (especially the first one). Do comment and lemme know what you think of it. Adios!!

Essentially simplistic!

2009-12-09T22:03:00.000+05:30

"I'll tell you a secret. Something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again."

What I have pasted above is one of my all time favorite quotes. I must have quoted it here before as well. If I ever dervied any sort of inspiration from a quote, this would be it. Live by the principle of mortality and you shall enjoy your life to the fullest. Dont let yourself be constrained by anything or anyone. How you are in your life is a choice that you yourself should make. It should be made for your own benefits and not for the others.

Even though my statements might seem extremely selfish from the outset, its not quite all that selfish. You cannot live your life to fulfil the dreams of others, you cannot live your life obliging to the wishes of the others. But thats not to say that you shouldnt listen to anyone. The point is that you should know when to say, "That's it! I do this for me!!"

As I type this, I am reminded of the famous Linkin Park song - Numb. Technically what I blurted out till now is not really what I wanted to type. I wanted to try and make sense of a lot of things. The chain of thought was set in motion as I watched this movie "A Walk to Remember". People have been recommending that movie to me for some time now and the perfect nudge was provided by this post by Vivek.

The movie is one of those movies which tend to have an impact on you. I dont know if its all that awesome as tauted by my friend. IMDB rates it at 7.1/10, which is pretty good too. I dont know if am being too harsh on the movie when I say that its not "all-that-awesome". Its the sort of movie that would have had me going "WOW" in the old days. But it doesnt anymore. Something seems to have happened to the hopeless romantic in me. It seems that the hopelessness is not as hopeless as it used to be.

The movie portrays the story about how a indecent, cool, popular guy with scant regard for social responsibilities and no civic sense is transformed into a caring, loving guy by a girl who is secretly a cancer patient. The transformation is a bit too fast and incredulous. I started watching the movie in "cynic" mode. And I was going "Man, thats so cliche!!" every 5 minutes. But then at some point, I delved into the realm of the movie and I was a spectator to the unfolding of the plot. Its a sad story served with a pinch of salt. It makes things seem all to unreal and real at the same time.

One good point that my friend Vivek raises is that how one shouldnt change the way one ought to behave just because your stay on Earth is real short. While I admit that its a highly noble way of looking at things, I raise my hand I shout "I disagree". I can never be just myself if I knew that am gonna die in a few months time. The point is to enjoy life to the fullest. Not to lie back and roll over. With or without a death date in my hand, I am gonna enjoy my life. I will live it my way and without any sort of inhibitions. Well, I talked about this to a friend of mine and it didnt make much of an impact on that person. Am guessing this is one of those weird things that only I can come to terms with.

The cast delivers a wonderful performance, especially Mandy Moore. The soundtrack by Switchfoot is superb. "Dare You To Move" and "Only Hope" and the like really gets to you. What the movie has made me realise is that I feel things a bit differently than others. Well, its not like its the first time that am realising it. Anyway, moving on.

For those who loved this movie, I ll recommend "The Notebook". Its one heck of a movie. Probably the best romantic movie I have ever watched. Its just brilliant. Something from that movie just sticks to you. Like the concept of a summer romance blooming into love which survives a life time and possibly more. You ll find cliches in this movie as well. But somehow, they seem to blend well within and not make you notice.

The way you look at things has a big bearing on the way you live. Life is too short to make too much of a fuss about anything and everything. You live taking every chance and without regrets. Life is simple. Essentially it is just about the way you decide to live it. Yes, a lot of shit happens on the way. Most of them, you survive and rise to thrive, yet again.

The world is what you make it to be. Its as simple as that!!

Until next time. Adios, amigos!!

The Ardor of Anger!!

2009-12-01T18:06:00.000+05:30

My first idea of a title for this post was "Fuck Peace!!". I was focussing all my anger and frustration onto the title. But then I decided that maybe it was a bit too extreme. And hence the title is what it is now. For those who don't know the meaning of 'ardor', it means passion,spirit, zeal etc. A few days back, I too wouldnt have heard about the word. Its a new addition to my vocabulary. Now, a warning. Dont, for heaven's sake bother reading what is going to follow. You wont understand shit.

Anyway, the point of this post is to try and vent some frustration thats clogged in my head. Right now, I epitomise an angry young man. And a while back, I was as sad the sight of a legless guy crawl. Sadness and anger are like two sides of the same coin, an uneven coin at that. Its not equal. Sadness is easily converted to anger, but the same cant really be said about anger. It has more of a say in our actions than our sadness. Maybe I shouldnt generalise things as much. This would be my case.

When I think about my state of mind, I am reminded of this image of two guys on a see-saw. The fat guy would be anger and the lil' guy is sadness. For the sad guy to come to ground, the fattie has to let go first. Its only when the anger lets go that sadness comes back in. But for sadness to leave and anger to take charge, all it takes is a nudge. The tipping point of anger and sadness is slight and easily triggered. Anger is helpful, coz it masks the underlying sadness. Thus it serves as a means to survive.

But anger only postpones the inevitable. At some point, you have to deal with your sadness and its cause. You have to figure out things. You may not like it, but it has to happen. Otherwise, anger will consume you. It will have a toll on your relationships, it will dwell on your work. It will ruin you.

I don't get it. Why the fuck don't I see these things coming?? I suppose, if people didn't have the capacity to surprise you (rudely, I might add), life wont be life. Fuck, life!! Ciao!!

Peace, yo!!

2009-11-29T22:22:00.000+05:30

I write this in one of the best frames of mind that I have been off late. The last few days, I feel as though I have found some new ground in my mind. I have somehow stumbled upon a state of peace. A state I have experienced before. It has sent me back a few years, to the time when I was in 12th. I must have written about this sometime before. My year in 12th was the best year of my life. Well, lets not get into that just now.

The point of writing this post was to just to state that I have a new-found old peace of mind. I wonder, just how long this will last. Coz, a lot of things have changed from the last time I was in this state of mind. I think I have reached my objective for this post. This is as far as I should go.

Ciao, people!!

As darkness takes over..

2009-11-28T13:58:00.000+05:30

I found myself having some time in my hand and I have worked on the blog. Well, obviously so. I like the new layout. I have always loved dark themes. Its always been an inherent tendency to love these dark toned things. Am not talking about the superficial colours but about a more profound sophisticated level of intricate behavior. Darkness, is something that holds my mental gaze. Physically, darkness is perceived as something scary, something not to be loved, and at times even as ethereal. What appeals to me is the philosphical darkness that all of us have within ourselves. I am deeply intrigued by the darkness pervading over humanity. How does a person turn dark??

One of these days, am gonna buck up, sit and read and then write on these things. Until then, am afraid you are bound to the boredom ensued from reading the random bursts of my thoughts. Adios, amigos!!

The Sachin Post!

2009-11-16T18:59:00.000+05:30

If there ever was a living legend, that would have to be Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. There is just one man like him and there is never gonna be someone like him ever again. To describe Sachin's batting prowess would be futile thing to do. There are not enough superlatives in any language to do justice to the talent of the Little Master. Sachin has held the collective awe of a billion people. Millions of jaws have dropped upon seeing his majestic cover drives. Who can ever forget the sight of him dancing down the pitch to bowlers like Warne and Muralitharan?? Sachin has revelled and outshone every other batsmen in history. He is the best ever.

If Cricket were to be a religion, who better to be a God!?

Dont let the guy's small physical stature fool you. In India, there is probably no one bigger in popularity than Sachin. Maybe even all around the world. He has won fans and admirers everywhere. And for good reason too. Its not just his awesome talent that has won people over. Its the humble human being who remains down to earth even after his incredibly mammoth achievements.

I grew up watching Sachin thwart all kinds of bowlers from all-time-greats to to-be-greats to complete-rookies. The way in which he sparkled was just magnificient. His elegance was unmatched. I distinctly remember Imagine the whole of India praying for Sachin. The power of a billion people behind one man! No one has probably captured the mind of a nation like Sachin has. He has inspired us like no one else has.

A billion people groaned when Sachin's wicket fell. And each time he struck a boundary or carted one over the ropes, we jumped up and down. Even in his Godly image we somehow were able to relate to him. He remained one among us, even today he is the old Sachin. He may have grown older, but we can still see the same enthusiasm of the teenager who took guard back in 1989.

His most recent performance, the 175 against the Aussies. Sachin reminded us again, how it felt to have him around. When he failed to take India across the line, I felt bad more than I felt relief. Yes, even as the staunch Aussie fan that I am, I gotta admit that I felt saddened by the great man's fall. And it was evident in his empty glare after the match was over, the disappoinment of having let his team down, of having let himself down, of having let his country down. A touch too harsh on himself, but its a trait that you would find in any genius. They compete with themselves, demand more of themselves. The hunger to succeed never quite dies away. Sachin stands testimony to that.

I dont think I need to write more about Sachin. The completion of his 20th year in international cricket has been much celebrated by the media. It would be an overdose for me to write about him. I HAD to write atleast a bit, so that I could atleast mark the occasion.

"O Sachin, we mortals salute thee!!"

Until next time. Adios, amigos!!

Of death, death metal & fear of death... A deadly trifecta!

2009-11-15T17:04:00.002+05:30

The death of you,

It lies within you.

Take care not to fear,

Take it for granted,

You 'll not survive this.

For this is nothing,

It was never anything.

Death has always been one of those infinitely fascinating topics. What lies beyond this life, its as philosophical a question you can hope to encounter. Its probably more revolting and disturbing than the eternal question of the existence of God.

The question can be answered by religion to a big extent, provided you believe in it. Afterlife/heaven/hell and the likes are all very interesting to hear about. Someone following a religion inevitably has a heaven of angels and hell filled with demons. But what about someone like me?? What about an atheist who believe that religions are nothing but fancy theories with no base for corroboration. What do I expect when I hit upon the ultimate roadblock, that is death??

Well, it is indeed scary. It would be nice to imagine a situation where I die and I get everything I had always wished for. That would be really nice and convenient. But my belief doesnt let it be that simple. IF there is an after life where I can live on, that would be great. I would have no complaints about that. But during my time on earth as a human being, I choose to believe that what we have now is all that we have. All that we have is the moment that we live in. Nothing can be taken as is, for it all can go horribly wrong just as quickly as you can blink your eyes.

It is most important to live in the moment. And that becomes painfully obvious when you experience death somewhere close to you. Seeing the numbers in the news papers hardly affects us. We are oblivious to that. We have been desensitized by the onslaught of violent media. Its not really a bad thing. But then, it makes us forget how much each moment must be cherished.

Recently, a friend of mine lost a close friend in an accident. As I saw the person struggling to come to terms with the shocking truth, I had an epiphany. I have never been in such a situation of looking upon an irrecoverable loss. How does one deal with such a situation?? I cant even begin to imagine how I would react. Heck, I cant even react well enough to comfort my friend. I am far too logical and my thought process is like that of an insensitive idiot. Although, I do try and make up. I dont know how good a job, am doing at it.

"Shit happens. One has to move on!!"

Thats what rings in my mind. I wonder, just how hypocritical that is of me. I have had a small experience when I got to know how badly I deal with losses. Well, of course that applies to only a very limited no. of people as there are not many who have penetrated my shield of insensitivity.

Everybody has their ways of dealing with the shit life throws at you. I have recognized two ways I prefer.

Cribbing away to close friends.
Music, death metal to be precise.

The first one is probably accepted as the most common solution. But it is in someways the most difficult thing to do. Especially if someone whom you can talk to is not at reach when you need them. Thats when music comes to my aid. Metal has an incredible tranquilizing effect on me. Children of Bodom and Lamb of God are right at the top of my go-to-list. Their songs are not exactly feel-good songs. But they have an awesome effect. I have had many a nights where metal songs have donned the role of lullabies.

I am afraid of growing old. For I know that it leads me to closer to that inevitable end. i am afraid of dying. But my arrogance doesnt let me worry much, yet. I am pretty sure am gonna be around to torture y'all for a long time to come. [:P] But sometimes, my mind does drift off to a future that I want to be mine. And sometimes, I see myself as old and vile, and I dont like it. Well, thats a topic for another post.

At the end of the day, all we have are our friends, family and yourself. I am not trying to say that nothing matters. But all am trying to put accross is that some things matter more than anything else. And its imperative that we know what these things are and take care of them. Make sure that nothing goes unsaid and people that matter should know that they are important. Life is worth opening yourself up and making yourself vulnerable. Only with the threat of deadly pain do we have the promise of intimate satisfaction for the self. Life would be nothing if we dint have the dead end hovering above is. It is precisely why one learns to appreciate the beauty of life. And its precisely why each moment is to be lived to the fullest and treasured.

Until next time. Adios, amigos!!

PS - Thanks to the artists for their artistic interpretations and Google for letting me stumble upon them.

"Get a broom, man!!"

2009-11-13T19:01:00.000+05:30

Hostel life is, well... how do I put it mildly?? Its awesome!! Its everything I hoped it would be like and perhaps more. I love being independent and having my own rhythm for life. I love the feeling of being totally chilled out sans dependancies. I love being able to do things my way, without any overseeing authority. King of my own life, as I like to think about it.

My glorious messy room is the first thing that comes to my mind when I think about my current lifestyle. Well, atleast it used to be really messy. Me and my roommate, Aashik have finally (after one whole term and a further two weeks) invested on a broom. It took me well over 30 minutes to get the room in good shape. But the sense of satisfaction upon seeing the heap of dirt that I sweeped off the floor was immensely pleasing. The toiling was worth it. But the more apt emotion would have been shock. The pile of dirt was not a small deal. In retrospect I did ask Aashik "Man, we had so much dirt in our room??" But ya, messy rooms are the best part about hostel life. I had neat and tidy rooms back when I was home. Its good to break free.

I love my room here. Its really awesome. It has four windows and is the largest freshie room in the block. And my block is the best of all. Sometimes when I am on my way back to the room, people ask me "Where are you headed man??" And I answer "Home!". There is an awesome homely feel to my room. Its the place where I head to crash after a loong tiring day (the kind we have a lot here! sigh!!), its the place where I can sleep like a log. Its the most comfy place over here.

Roommate's an important part of your hostel life, atleast until the second year, when we are allotted single rooms. I have been lucky to get a good roomie. I was initially worried about that, as anyone would be. But Aashik turned out to be a decent guy who wanted to study and was definitely not the kind that I wanted to rip the head off. Am glad about that, VERY glad indeed. Its also pretty important to have a good camaraderie with your roommate. Well, living together tends to test your patience a bit. And the guy seems to be able to tolerate me and my craziness. Haha!! Life's fun.

Rapist, really??

Am sporting a new look off late. A summer crop during winter. Few people hate it, some people are OK with it, most people like it and I love it. I have been likened to everything from goonda to rapist. [:P] Well, thats the end of the time I have for this session of randomness from me. I cant help but feel that I have forgot most of the stuff that I wanted to say. Well, those who have been reading the blog for a while will know that thats nothing new. Anyway, have fun people!! Ciao!!

Life goes on.. Tararumtatantum!!

2009-11-07T21:59:00.000+05:30

Ok, dont ask me where I got that weird title. Its from some random song which I cant seem to figure out exactly. Its a weekend, yet again and it seems like an eternity since the last one I had. Weekends never held so much pleasure. They were always fun and much looked forward to. But not quite as much.

Maybe its the six working day weeks. By the end of the week, exhaustion and lethargy will be the best descriptions of my state. The looong weeks were certainly one of the biggest unpleasant surprises that the Delhi life has thrown on me.

"Hectic" would be an understatement describing schedule for the sciencees in DU, almost an insult. Not many days go by without me feeling the pangs of the green monster of jealousy as I see the Artsees roaming around in the afternoon. Carefree and jovial they would seem as I grudgingly walk to the Science block for my labs. Labs are a pain in the *$$. But thats a topic for another time.

And when the long day finally ends up 430, you feel a relief like you have just won over a huge battle. And then you realise, tomorrow it begins all over again. Man, life is a lot tough these days. But yes, I will survive.

I have to go back to my room and try and chalk out an article for the PF journal - something which has a political relevance as well as a social significance. Thats what they want and thats what I need to write. But its turning out to be a horrendous task. I cant seem to surmount the starting trouble. Or the writer's block as they call it. Or my personal favorite, the deadlock of the left brain.

Ciao, guys!!

Jargons of a Shredded Life

Physics in Delhi University

Its a good life.

Art of the violent persuasion

Nainital

World running past me.

Yeah.

And, life is beautiful.

Accidents of the fourth kind.

Music & Lyrics

Oh, I love this!

The Validity & Necessity of History : yeah, about that..

Faces and expressions..

Oh, Roger!

Homecoming!

Breathing Space!

Lonely in a sea of people..

Of a murder, prudence & skepticism..

Princess of Death

The little joys of life..

Me, a camera and thus the pics!

Friendly dogs..

Dear God!

31st December, 2010

Have winter, Will enjoy...

Exciting times ahead!

Bubbles of fun!

Laughter..

The Eye!

Of Freezy Baths

The Deal About Marriage!

Reek Of A Killer

Music for the battered mind..

Solution..

Villaneous!

Of foiled plans, wrecked holidays and discovering new music!

I hate love stories... Definitely!

Happy?!

I want a dragon!

A lonely walk in the beach..

Musical Solace

My odyssey through the skies..

Home..

More photos...

Psychotic Headbanging!

Psychedelic Tribute To Life..

Behind the marauding veil..

Peeping back into blogosphere!

The Vodka Confessions!

Home away from home..

Yesterday!

B.I.K.E.S!

To right the wrongs..

Soulless!

Drown, baby! Drown!!

*Untitled*

Heaven help the fatefully frustrated!

Sleek!

Finally, its a break!!

A tribute to talent..

5 Days...

Over and Out!!

Insights into the fucked up state of mind...

Not quite poetic...

Two more to go!! And one more disconnected post for you...

Theen aur...

And we have four to go!!

Ah.. 2 down.. Five to go!!

One down... SIX to go! Sigh!!

Two days to go until the dance begin!

Mindless Buffering...

Tweaking..

This almost feels "alien"!!

A plethora of piled-up stuff!!

Blogging Drought!

A lot..

Hiatus, Darkness and More...

Somethings, sometimes...

The last of 2009!!

X'mas, sleep etc etc...

Untitled